Beautiful
by Shadows Run
Summary: A continuing story of a redeemed Jedi knight named Revan. Her new identity is Saleairy Cheran and she saved the galaxy. Now she gets to piece together a life she’s inexperienced with. Where does she go from her adventuring days on the Ebon Hawk? COMPLETE!
1. Kinds of Testosterone

"Hey beautiful." Carth said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She smiled at Carth and swallowed.

"You look a little shaky. Are you sure you're alright?" She nodded and shivered. Carth knew she wasn't all right because he was close enough to her to know when she faltered, every unsettled feeling she felt. If she let him feel it, he would. "Are you cold?" She nodded. He put his jacket over her shoulders and she smiled.

"Thank you." She didn't have to be the Redeemed Jedi Knight with him. She didn't have to be the savior of the galaxy but she was. She was the redemption of the galaxy with all her failings and unsettled emotions. Not many people would know the personal conflicts the heroes of the Republic faced during their mission and after.

"Saleairy, wait up." She stopped and accepted a hug from Mission. "Now you two are wearing each others clothes? Strange." She chuckled at Carth and Carth grinned.

"Love makes you do strange things. She picked me out quite a nice dress actually, with tassels and lace-"

"Okay, that went far enough there, pilot man. Have you guys seen Big Z?" Mission asked. They heard his "inside voice" bellow and followed the noise. They were standing on the balcony of a very expensive hotel and they walked around the curving veranda to find Big Z conversing with Canderous.

"What's going on over here?" Carth asked.

"I was just discussing Mandolarian war tactics for planets like the fluff ball's home planet."

"Let's avoid discussions on conquering please Canderous." Saleairy spoke with a demure smile.

"You're the one who listened to my war stories."

"I was interested in your stories not conquering tactics though Canderous."

"Yes, I suppose you aren't interested in conquering anymore." Saleairy looked uncomfortable at the comment but let it blow over. Canderous admired the strength Revan was known for and she hoped that was all the admirable qualities he'd noticed.

"No. I'm mostly interested in getting something to eat." HK walked up.

"Observation: It is such a shame you have chosen new hobbies Master. I served you so well when you disposed of meatbags in conquest."

"You still serve me well HK. Besides, now you have more meatbags to play with." She winked and Carth chuckled at her purring, mellifluous voice. Even the droids would fall for her eloquent flattery.

"Yes, HK loves to 'play' since no one ever told him to play nicely with the other kids." Juhani walked up to them.

"It's time for breakfast."

"Great."

They were seated at a large table and Jolee joined them. Carth sat next to Saleairy and Canderous sat on the other side. She always seemed so strong when someone needed her to be. She realized that Carth didn't always need her to be strong. Carth could be strong for her now that she wasn't fighting for the galaxy. That alone strengthened her even though intimacy, even touching Carth was difficult. She didn't touch him often during their journey but now it was more appropriate to do so and she remained hesitant. She loved him and neither of them doubted it but something made loving very different for Saleairy. She was responsible for so much pain; she caused Carth pain as Revan by the destruction in her wake and it hurt her to think of it. She didn't remember being Revan; she was Saleairy Cheran but the guilt was still there and it worsened when her mind denied any remembrance of the massacres she caused. She refocused her thoughts and blinked at her friends. They were her new family since no one would claim to be Revan's family. Carth touched her hand to get her attention and poured her a glass of fruit juice.

"This planet is beautiful." They were on some inhabited jungle moon that was a stop on their way to Telos. The Council had asked her to come there with a few of their members to show the people the power of redemption. They'd just arrived that morning and everyone looked like they would eat and fall into their beds. Saleairy was amazed when Bastila went ahead to meet with the Council. Saleairy and Carth would be dead asleep as soon as they could be; sleeping arrangements would need to be organized with haste or Saleairy would pass out on the floor. Maybe she would feel better after eating.

"What do you guys want to do after breakfast?" Mission was the only one with an excess of energy.

"Sleep." Most of them echoed the sentiment. Carth even looked a little weary. T3 came in, beeping and Saleairy whistled.

"T3, you're looking a little beaten up. Here, come over to me."

"Could we not run diagnostics at the table dear?" Canderous asked.

"I'll order you a brandy."

"Isn't it early-" Carth asked.

"I'll take that offer." He hailed the waitress and Saleairy fixed a few obvious issues T3 was having.

"Is that better?" He beeped in a positive key and thrummed off. She chuckled. "I swear he does that just so he's capable of making trouble somewhere else."

"He's not the only troublemaker." She smiled at Jolee.

"I can't help it sometimes." She said.

"And the other times?" Carth asked.

"The trouble I'm in is worth it. That's how I ended up flying around with you." She smiled and Carth chuckled. "Oh dear, did I hurt your man feelings with that one Carth?"

"Maybe a little."

"Do you want a brandy too? Technically it's about nighttime for us since we've been traveling for so long." She knew he would since Canderous accepted her offer.

"Okay." She laughed and Mission shook her head.

"We all may be sleepy but it's still morning time and brandy isn't exactly fruit juice."

"They'll just sleep longer." Juhani said.

"Try not to get too hammered though." Carth laughed as the waitress brought out two brandies. Jolee chuckled from where he sat and Saleairy offered to order him one.

"No, I think this will be more entertaining completely sober."

"Well said." Saleairy said. She took a sip of Carth's brandy. She didn't drink often because she wasn't presented with the opportunity often. It burned her throat and cleared her head. She took a bigger sip of water and Canderous laughed.

"Not much for brandy at any time if I remember correctly. More for the juma juice." Canderous said. Carth raised his eyebrows.

"I thought that night at the cantina was going to stay quiet Canderous." Her eyes twinkled in a clandestine smile.

"I think it's a quality story." Carth rested his arm across the back of her chair and she looked at him for a moment, staring into his dark honey eyes before leaning back. His hand rested on her shoulder and she drank more water. His fingers tickled her shoulder.

"Well, are you going to tell us the story or what?" Mission said.

"Recollection: I seem to remember being there as well Master." Saleairy covered her face for a moment.

"Please don't tell me you were recording, HK."

"Offended statement: I would never record anything without your consent Master, but I do have a remarkable memory."

"I think Canderous would do better explaining HK, but thank you for your offer."

"Smug statement: Any service I can offer will be above satisfactory Master."

"Alright you bucket of bolts, since you all seem so interested I'll tell the story. Saleairy, the assassin droid and I went to a cantina because Saleairy needed the advice of some real warriors." Carth didn't know if he liked such an esoteric story shared between an assassin droid, a Mandolarian and the women he'd been traveling with for so long. He hoped it would turn out humorous and nothing else.

"Observation: Putting yourself, an organic meatbag, in the same category as myself, a state of the art-"

"You'll remember I know how to stop you observations too." HK was quiet. "I ordered some drinks and watched her drink hers like a lady while the Pazaak player she was busy hustling drank like a Firaxa shark. He eventually got the idea she was cheating at Pazaak and it was just the juma juice getting to him because he had a bad deck and a bad streak. So then he thinks he'll win his money back by challenging her to a drinking contest."

"Oh God, I still can't drink that juma juice." She rubbed her temples. "Worst hang over I've ever had."

"I can see why." Canderous scoffed.

"How much did you drink?" Carth asked, struggling to contain laughter. He was glad they were all so light hearted. They had to be since Saleairy didn't drink often or in excess and no one expected her to go out and get hammered alongside Canderous and HK.

"I lost count after five. Canderous?"

"Fifteen and that was before they started playing Pazaak again. I have never seen someone so drunk mop the floor with a professional Pazaak player." Laughter broke out since Saleairy reserved Pazaak for when she needed the credits.

"I knew we were going to have a high tab when we left." She shrugged her shoulders. "I took him on because I figured Canderous would be less willing to challenge me if I was already smashed. How late were we there?"

"The pigeon left at one and we left a while later."

"Observation: You were both well beyond a safe level of inebriation."

"Is there a safe level of inebriation?" Carth asked.

"Observation: With most meatbags, I would say no, but Master holds her ales most admirably."

"That's not what Canderous thought, although having to carry me home was probably one of the funnier experiences." Saleairy said.

"She was so 'tipsy' she almost fell off my shoulders. The entire time she was muttering about how she was glad I was there because those cantina rats were an unscrupulous sort. I've never heard her sing before or since then either. What were you singing?"

"You think I remember the song?" She flushed.

"I think you do. It was a parody of some Republic song." She flushed a deeper

pink.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You can't be a toad now. You had the bar keeps singing it before we left." Canderous said.

"Recollection: Oh, Master, I searched my data files and it appears I did record something that night at the request of Canderous."

"Play it." Canderous said. Saleairy covered her face for a minute before HK started playing.

"Voiceprint: The strength of the Republic is in traditions and regulations of old. Hire hot solders and let them get old. Give them blasters, swords and shields to wear but don't forget to make the uniforms to tight to bear. Even in the past, we knew our republic hero had an exceptional ass." Saleairy buried her face in Carth's shoulder and hid her laughter. Carth heard Canderous singing in the recording and chuckled.

"I'm amazed you sung so well." Carth said blinking at the unrestrained laughter of the people around him. "Which Republic hero were you talking about?"

"I don't remember."

"Canderous, weren't you supposed to be watching her?" Carth asked.

"I would've been watching her closer but even Mandalorians get a little impaired after so many drinks. And you can't expect me not to join in on a little Republic bashing." Saleairy showed her face again and the blush had faded.

"I could probably drink you under the table." She sipped more brandy from Carth's glass as she attempted to change the subject and Carth took a larger sip.

"Let's not find out. I don't want to hold you hair back while you vomit gorgeous."

"Realization: The following day, you battled a very fierce monster. What was it again? Oh yes, some sort of dragon? Of course with my combat readiness you had no problems-"

"You were hung over when you killed that Krayt dragon?" Mission asked.

"More than a little." They all burst into laughter and Carth gazed at her. She was beautiful and even her past life couldn't keep the vitality and vivacious energy from sparkling in her eyes. Carth touched her hand and she smiled.

"I can see why you don't drink often if you get challenged to a drinking contest every time."

"Don't worry Carth, next time I'll take you along and I'll drink you under the table and carry you back." She stuck her tongue out.

"Ha, novice." She chuckled and ran her finger over the length of Carth's hand between his thumb and forefinger. He had a burn scar from a blaster that over heated and scalded him. He was a young solder when he got it and it wasn't a war story worth telling for a Republic hero. He was practicing with a new blaster in a desolate field and a stray shot hit a domestic beast. The beast charged and Carth ran while shooting to scare the beast off and tripped over his feet. The blaster's barrel seared his skin and his startled yelp frightened the timid beast more than the blaster bolts.

Saleairy yawned and stretched. Carth and Canderous finished their brandies and they went to collect room keys. Their luggage had been placed in certain rooms and Carth and Saleairy were sharing a large suite. Mission hid an impish grin and Canderous made a ribald comment and was cut off by HK.

"Thinly veiled threat: If the Commander Onasi were to do subject my Master to any such thing, he would require punishment. I believe punishments are best fulfilled by blaster rifle, don't you agree Master?"

"In some cases it is quite effective. Other times it's easier to make the offender sleep outside, after using a blaster on the stun setting in a choice location." Carth laughed.

"No one is that cold, sister."

"Now I'm a sister? No longer the most persistent women you've ever met?"

"Whatever beautiful, I just work here."

"Okay, I think we've all seen your kinky flirting long enough. I'm going to sleep." Mission said.

"It would be wise for you to sleep too kid, or Carth will be carrying you back." Jolee said.

"You should anyway." Canderous said.

"Is that going to sleep the Mandolarian way?" Carth asked.

"Alright alright, enough. Let's go." Saleairy pulled Carth along to their room.

"Can't stand the heat?"

"Can't stand the teenaged level of testosterone."

"You should be used to it by now." Carth said.

"That isn't the kind of testosterone I want." Carth picked her up and swung her around. He made a move to kiss her but she put a finger to his lips, smiling as he held her above him.

"Is this the kind of testosterone you want?" Carth said as she gripped his shoulders while he held her in mid air. She grinned with a playful twinkle in her eyes.

"No. I like the kind of testosterone that makes you lift things. My suitcase was kindly put in the middle of the pathway in our room."


	2. Interruptions

Carth dropped Saleairy and walked to their room without another word. Saleairy recovered from the drop and walked after him, shutting the door behind her.

"Carth, did I upset you?"

"No." He moved the suitcase with ease and she realized she shouldn't inflate his ego. She could've moved her own suitcase.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I thought it was funny. I'm just acting testy so you'll give me more attention." He set the suitcase down and grinned as he pretended to sulk.

"You've been the center of my attention for a while, haven't you?"

"We've all been the center of your attention ever since you finished saving the galaxy. You're always worried that you'll somehow hurt us all." Saleairy's grin faded. "It's admirable that you care, but you've been watching all of us like we're a big family and you have to protect us." He turned to face her again and saw her eyes had stopped sparkling. "Oh dammit. I didn't mean to upset you. It's good that you care but you've been worrying yourself sick about us. We're all alive and here now because of you Saleairy." He touched her arm with a gentleness she wasn't accustomed to. On their journey, Carth only touched her to help her or to protect her like a mother kath hound. On sporadic occasions, he would touch her shoulder or her hair and those were more platonic than they'd admit. She would squirm because it'd felt like he was attending his paternal instinct. That was before they took the time to talk. However short the talk was they looked at each other when nothing was distracting them; they knew their relationship mattered more than what was going on for the moment. For about two minutes they crashed into the realization that even if they could save the galaxy, it would be a hallow victory without each other. Then off again to finish their mission.

"What were you trying to tell me?" She asked.

"I don't know what I was trying to tell you. I obviously upset you in my sad attempt." She ached for him to come closer again but she didn't know how she would react.

"Tell me."

"I don't want to." Carth said.

"Don't pout. You didn't upset me. I was only concerned that you felt I wasn't paying you enough attention." She scoffed. "And now you're getting more of my attention."

"When you get testy you get long winded, don't you?" He smiled. "I just meant that you were paying all of us a lot of attention because you're scared we'll get hurt. You pay more attention to T3 and Canderous than me because you know I can take care of myself." Even Zaalbar got more attention then him and Carth had noticed.

"Is that so?" Saleariy said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Yes."

"No. I watch them closely because they can get into trouble if they want to. You stumble into trouble like a trapped Gizka. I watch you but you're not observant enough to notice." She stuck her chin up and turned her back to him.

"Really?" Carth was sincere with his hopeful tone.

"Carth, don't be such a dunce. You know how I feel about you even if I'm not staring at you drooling constantly. All though that is a nice sign, it reassures me constantly." She smiled. "I can tell what you're looking at right now and I can't see you."

"You turned around, what I am supposed to look at, your ponytail?" She turned and put her hands back on her hips.

"I would hope you would've figured something out since you've been behind me for this entire crusade." He flushed.

"It was either you or Canderous." She chuckled.

"You two are like teenagers together. I never noticed the eyebrow thing until you mentioned it when you made fun of him."

"You were too busy making observations about other parts of Canderous. Mr. Gun Holsters in Inappropriate Places." Saleairy broke out laughing.

"You're serious?"

"You haven't noticed?"

"Once I figured out Canderous was a proud Mandalorian I didn't bother looking at his guns or anything below his waist."

"Sure."

"I was occupied else where." She circled Carth. "I miss your old jacket, why aren't you wearing it?"

"You're currently sporting it." She smiled. She forgot Carth was more attentive now and noticed if she was cold. She wasn't sure if he would've offered his jacket when they were traveling either. "I thought Bastila said the color didn't suit me?"

"Whatever Bastila said about it being the color of a sick Bantha's mucus is one thing, but it makes you look to other things."

"Like what?"

"Your hair." She peered at it. "You let it get greasy again, too much gel. You should go natural. You should also take a shower."

"How can you tell without touching it?"

"It's a gift." She tossed him a towel. "I'll take a shower after you so don't start in about my hair."

"It looks fine to me."

"You're a boy, you don't know much about hair."

"I won't argue with that." He went to the shower room and bathed.

Saleairy wondered why their conversations led to game after game, skirting the issues they needed to talk about. Skirting around feelings by flirting and teasing. She'd make a note to try to steer the conversations to what Carth needed to say. She needed to steer and pry because Carth was often as stubborn as a bantha. She'd have to bait him with fodder.

Carth came out with a towel around his waist, his hair dripping as it stuck out in odd spots. Saleairy blinked and set her mug of juice down.

"Something I can help you with?"

"I forgot to bring new clothes in with me in my mad dash to please you."

"In you mad dash to attend your personal hygiene." She corrected. "Don't move around too much, I'll bring your clothes to you." He took a few steps closer anyway as she sorted through his suitcase. "Does this mean I get to pick your outfit?"

"Maybe." She handed him his pajamas made of soft fabric that caressed her as she held them. She walked over to him and stopped. He smelled clean, like the water from the fountains of the Temple on Coruscant. She stepped closer than she'd ever been and rested her head on his bare shoulder, wrapping her arms around his neck and turning so her forehead rested on his collarbone. Carth was enthralled and overjoyed by embrace but would've been ever more joyous if he didn't have to hold his towel on with one hand. He held her around her waist and smiled. "My hair improved some?"

"Definitely." She looked up to his face and blinked. Her eyes were less intense and her eyelashes were as always, long and dark. Carth moved his face closer and touched her face. She moved her lips closer to his, not without quivering and took a shallow breath.

"Greeting: Master?" They both started and turned. Carth took the clothes and dashed to the bathroom as Saleairy laughed. Either HK's threat was still fresh in Carth's mind or Carth's sense of modesty was triggered only in proximity to droids.

"What can I do for you HK?"

"Query: Does Commander Onasi necessitate punishment Master?"

"No, that won't be necessary HK."

"Statement: From what I saw, you were afraid and anything causing you distress can easily be eliminated-"

"No need HK. If I want to punish Carth, I would enjoy doing it myself. Did you need something HK?"

"Query: Have you seen the rather archaic T3 unit recently?"

"I haven't seen T3 since breakfast. Why?"

"Evasion: Oh, no reason Master. He has a tendency for trouble and I wouldn't want any harm to befall the spunky unit. Would it be possible for me to search for him?"

"I would prefer if you took someone with you HK."

"Objection: A meatbag would merely slow me down Master."

"Well, pick your favorite meatbag. Besides, everyone wants to sleep now HK. It might do you good to rest your systems or run a diagnostic."

"Query: Master, are you questioning my functioning abilities?"

"No, of course not HK. I'm just telling you that traditional meatbags require more sleep than you would think so you could make good use of the time doing something you feel is useful."

"Statement: Very well Master. I will speak with the meatbags and I will find a task to occupy myself with."

"Okay HK. Have some non lethal fun." HK walked out and she shut the door behind him. Carth came out of the bathroom in his pajamas. She smiled at the red and blue rocket ships on them.

"Don't say it, I know what you're thinking. Why don't you go shower and we'll see who has the worst pajamas?" She smiled and stopped him. She smelled him and blinked.

"You don't smell like soap."

"I use the lighter stuff so it doesn't interfere with my cologne or work." She rested her head on his shoulder and pulled a stray strand of hair.

"It's nice. It makes me kinda drowsy."

"Nothing makes you sleepy unless you get a knock to your head. And a hard one at that." He touched her forehead were a very light scar faded into her hairline. When they landed on Taris from the Endar Spire, she was knocked unconscious. Carth took one look at the gash and wondered if she would ever wake up. He was concerned then because she was the only one who he could depend on to help him and now if he ever saw her hurt again it would devastate him.

"You make me drowsy because you make me feel safe." She said. He looked down at her and knew it was true. He'd never seen such a pacified look on her face. She was placid and it wasn't because she fought to be so. All her weight rested on him and he was tempted to hold her but her hands held his after he touched her face. She stopped leaning on him and smiled.

"What do I smell like that makes you feel safe?"

"The Temple on Coruscant, the fountain room." She nuzzled his neck for a split second before resting her forehead against his collarbone again.

"You haven't been to Coruscant." Carth felt a fluttering in his stomach. Revan had.

"Bastila has and she never said anything about it but when we meditate it's like I'm there. The smell and sounds are very calming. It didn't affect her as much but I've never seen another place as soothing. It makes you seem safe to be around. And I know you're safe."

"I'm glad you feel safe. You deserve it." She smiled.

"I don't think I'll ever deserve you Carth."


	3. Strength to Touch

She showered and changed into her pajamas. Mission had teased her, saying the pajamas were less then underwear. She concluded her "joshing" by buying Saleairy a robe, saying Carth would be the real recipient of the joys of the gift. Saleairy put it on and it was just below her pajamas and above her knees. She shook her head and walked out into the room, stretching. She spotted Carth first as he was stretching. His happy trail was exposed along with a decent part of his stomach. She put her hand over her mouth.

"Why do you look like you're trying very hard not to laugh?" Carth asked.

"No reason." Saleairy said.

"Nothing?"

"Nope."

"How is your hair already dry?" He came closer, peering at her hair.

"The modern miracle of a hair dryer." She said, smiling. He still kept his eyes on her face.

"I didn't hear it."

"Oh dear. You've found out my secret. My mystical Jedi power is that I can dry my hair simply by thinking of the hair dryer and making the whoosh noises." She blew at his nose with the accompanying 'whoosh' noise and he rolled his eyes. "How is your hair already dry?" She asked, putting her hand on her hip.

"I towel dry missy and no gel since you don't like it."

"Why are we talking about this?" Saleairy asked.

"Because I'd rather discuss it and have to look at your face than your pajamas." Carth said, blinking and looking away.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to have to punish me for any unclean thoughts, you Jedi seer." He said, laughing. "It's not because your pajamas are as hideous as mine."

"Your pajamas are nice. I wouldn't punish you for real and what HK doesn't know will keep a lot of people alive and well. I wasn't serious about the blaster on stun-"

"Applied to a choice area? You may not be but your blood lusty droid is learning from you." Carth said.

"I'm sorry about earlier, HK needs to learn how to knock."

"That's all right. If I was your personal assassin droid I'd want you safe too."

"Can I have a hug?"

"Why?" He was asking for curiosity's sake, not needing a reason to hug her. She didn't come closer and wouldn't until she got permission just because it was good to string Carth out a little.

"I've already used the 'you smell nice' ploy." Saleairy said.

"You were serious though." She nodded. "That's actually a very nice compliment, I think." She smiled as Carth spoke.

"I wouldn't have mentioned it if I didn't think you would take it otherwise. Can I hug you or not?" She smiled.

"You don't have to ask." The hug was more of a plea for Carth to hold her and Carth's grip drove the breath from her body. He loosened his embrace and she leaned her face on his shirt.

"I'm not going to start crying, don't worry."

"It would be all right if you did. We've all been through a lot and you've been through more than we'll ever know." His fingers kneaded on her sides and she shimmied out of his grip, smiling and taking a few steps away. "Something wrong?" He smiled.

"No." She smiled back.

"You know, there's something I've been wanting to ask you." He closed the gap between them and gripped her sides again.

"What's that my handsome pilot?" She blinked at him with her purring voice and he almost reconsidered what he was doing.

"You're charms won't distract me from my interrogation beautiful. Are you ticklish?" Her eyes darkened and her demeanor became stiff and contemptuous.

"Carth, I thought you would know better. They trained Jedi to be resistant to all torture tactics. My nerve endings are as unresponsive as HK." Beneath the offended pretense, Carth sensed a flutter as his grip tightened. She was an inch from trying to squirm out of it.

"Are you sure?"

"Why don't you go try and tickle HK? Then you'll get the idea." He grinned at her as she spoke.

"I've been fooled by that before only to see you walk away laughing my dear." She started squirreling, trying to get away.

"Don't do it Carth."

"I'm not doing anything. You're squirming is the problem."

"Carth, I'm serious-"

"As serious as you are tall." Carth tickled her until they both fell onto the bed. Saleairy looked up at him and furrowed her brow.

"What did you mean by that last comment?"

"Nothing."

"Liar. I wonder if the Republic trains their solders to resist torture?" She rolled on top of him and tickled him until he was panting.

"Mercy! Uncle! I surrender." She stopped and smiled. "Sucker." He grabbed her sides and rolled over again, tickling her stomach and neck. She fought back but he pinned her hands down with a soft grip, palm to palm. "Do you surrender?" She was panting too and she sighed.

"Incorrigible core slime."

"Jedi princess." Carth hissed.

"Ouch, you're turning to Canderous for insults now?"

"Maybe. I have learned one thing from him though." Carth said.

"What's that?"

"Take no prisoners."

"Carth-" He rolled over again and they flipped off the bed, Saleairy landing on top of Carth. She giggled. "I tried to warn you. Are you all right?"

"Of course." She looked down at him and smiled.

"How do we end up doing such strange things?"

"If you didn't wriggle away from our tender embrace earlier I would never have known." She spotted a bruise on his temple and touched it.

"Where is this from? It looks new."

"It's small. I hit my head on the cruiser when we arrived at the homecoming, remember?" Carth said.

"I didn't think it would bruise." She looked concerned for a moment and Carth felt a strange warmth where she touched the bruise. "There. I don't like you getting facial bruises." She used her healing powers to make the bruise fade.

"Why?" She stroked his face.

"They're no fun to look at and if I touched it, you would be in pain." Her fingers traced his cheekbone. He wrapped his arms around her waist as he remained under her, motionless. She ran her hands through his hair down to the roots until his scalp prickled. He wondered if she was using some strange force trick on him. He didn't care. This was the most she'd touched him ever in any tender, caring way that was more than platonic. When she touched his face, the love he'd questioned so many times before seemed to surround him. Her eyes left no question. He'd never seen someone with so much love in them. Her fingers tickled his forehead near his temple as she came closer. She moved closer, resting her cheek to his and breathing. She moved her lips closer to his and their noses touched, their eyes meeting. Carth felt her breath against his lips. Saleairy tasted a trace of the brandy from Carth's cautious breath. She brought her lips closer so that they almost brushed against Carth's and waited. She waited for the strength to touch the man she loved so much it hurt more than everything else, from Revan's life and Saleairy's.


	4. Intrusions

An intrusive, damming, frustrating knock made Saleairy drop her face to the side of Carth's, her lips resting against his shoulder. They both groaned at the interruption that was a near physical pain since the intense emotional bond that took them so far away was shattered. Carth slid her off, getting up to answer the knock and she rolled to her back, sighing with a listless resignation.

"If it's HK feel free to shut him down." She called.

"Hello Carth. I have something to discuss with whoever made our rooming arrangements." Bastila was getting huffy and Saleairy knew the tone. She also knew it was at its zenith when she spoke with Carth or Canderous.

"I didn't make the rooming arrangements." Carth said.

"Well it's obvious you were the recipient of some consideration. Why is she sleeping on the floor? Don't Republic officers have any consideration-"

"Whoa, easy there. What's wrong with your rooming situation?" Carth tried to halt the over protective Jedi women whenever he could and between Bastila and Juhani he was always being cautious and placating.

"HK has decided to stay in my room and harass me to go on some search of his for T3 and I just got back from a very tiring Council visit."

"Dear, he's your droid. Any suggestions?" Carth called as they both looked at where Saleairy stretched out on the floor. Judging by their palpable stares, she must've looked as drained and languid as she felt.

"Tell him if he's a good droid I'll make sure he has a suitable reward. Whatever that reward is, you can stretch it to however long you need to sleep."

"Thank you but if there is any further trouble-"

"Shut him down. It would do his circuits good." Carth said.

"It's good to see you back safely Bastila." Saleairy called as Carth ushered Bastila out and locked the door. Carth sighed.

"That was certainly anticlimactic." Carth said.

"I'm sorry." She laughed as she rubbed her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, Carth was beside her on the floor, yawning.

"Is it just me, or did that feel like it took a lot of energy?"

"The self control to answer to door took considerable strength." She smiled.

"Would you rather have Bastila bring the door down?" Carth asked.

"I know you're right."

"But still, now we're both drowsy and-" He yawned mid sentence and Saleairy touched his mouth to stop the pending tail end of the phrase. He was stilled under her touch and she smiled. She took her hand away and laughed. "What's so funny?"

"I still have such an affect on you. Every time I touch you, you freeze up and wait to see how you should react." She giggled. "However adolescent, it's very cute." He collapsed from his semi sitting position.

"My dear, you are too sweet."

"Should we get in the bed to sleep?" She asked. She would've slept where she fell.

"It would only seem natural. Did you want me to sleep on the couch?"

"You'd have more room on the bed."

"Okay." He got up and helped her to her feet. She walked to the picture windows and watched the sun rise. Carth stood behind her and she slid into his arms, resting her face on his chest. She used her powers to draw the shades that blocked all the light out. She went to get a hair band and tied her hair back. When she came back out Carth was in the middle of the bed, minus a pajama top. She smiled.

"When I said you'd have more room on the bed I didn't think you'd be in the middle of it. I always thought you solders slept in the nude." She sat on the arm of the couch.

"I'm still wearing pants. Hey, why are you on the couch?" He was confused and she chuckled.

"To mess with you."

"Don't toy with me like that." He blinked and pleaded.

"I wouldn't dream of it." She put the robe on the chair over his shirt and slid in beside him.

"Oh, the over head lighting is still on-" Saleairy used her powers to turn the light switch off and Carth smiled in the near darkness. "I forgot how convenient you Jedi are."

"Convenience is one thing and covert operations are another." He felt her fingers around his waist and he didn't resist until he realized she was getting into a better tickling position. He caught her around her waist and pulled her up until her head rested on his chest. She yawned. "You're no fun."

"I'm calling a ceasefire until we wake up."

"Okay."

"I want a guarantee." She kissed his collarbone and let him wrap his arm around her.

When Saleairy woke up it felt as if she'd slept for days in a coma but she'd only been unconscious for an hour. She resettled against Carth's chest and he stirred.

"Go back to sleep. It's only been an hour." She said. He ran his hand through her hair and kissed the top of her head in his half awake stupor. She smiled and thought about kissing him just to see if he would wake up or assume it was a dream. She resisted the temptation and shut her eyes. She wondered if she would ever deserve Carth or the companions she loved. Did she deserve to keep them? She didn't know. Carth blinked at her.

"I can tell you're thinking. Stop it." She smiled and snuggled closer. Carth would always remind her of the water in the Temple now and she didn't mind because when she went to the Temple to face the Masters she'd betrayed, she would walk with Carth surrounding her even if he wasn't allowed to be with her.

She dreamt of walking down the corridors of the enclave on Dantooine. It was not a normal dream; it was intrusive and at times too light or too dark, making it too difficult to see.

Dantooine was razed by the Sith forces. Why was she there? It was no more. Few people survived and the halls no longer held peace; they held blood and shadows of brutality. She walked into the Council's chamber alone and the doors slammed shut behind her. The Masters did not seem happy with her. Why wouldn't they be pleased? She'd done her task and helped her fellow Jedi pass on to become one with the force by defeating Malak. Why was she here?

"Revan, we no longer want you to be a Jedi. If you did not have another identity you would surely be banished." They weren't looking at her. A black shadow stood beside her.

"Saleairy, we wish to strike Revan from you forever."

"But Revan isn't in me." Carth had told her he could never love Revan and she knew Revan was dead. Revan had to be dead. The shadow next to her sulked around the room, stopping next to her and clinging to her arm without a tangible touch. Just a shadow on her, asking her for help.

"She is. What she does still stains you because you feel guilt and condemnation for it." The Masters came closer. The shadow was struggling in the midst of so many Jedi and it crawled through Saleairy.

"How could you strike her from me? She does not exist in me. I am Saleairy." The shadow disappeared and the strange heaviness it caused in Saleairy disappeared.

"Yes, you are Saleairy Cheran but the fear and anger of Revan is in you and if you let it entangle you, she will come back." The shadow was there. The shadow was the remainder of Revan, anger, fear and it was no longer there. Why were they doing this?

"What are you going to do?" She couldn't argue with the Council.

"Strike her from you."

"Take her memories."

"Take her emotions."

"Take her."

"Won't that hurt me?" Saleairy asked.

"Perhaps, but we would not accept you another way."

"You can't-" The force flooded around her and she screamed. She remembered something. Revan was never afraid of what the force could do to her. That was why the Council was able to take her memories. She didn't expect the force could twist her any further. She wasn't afraid. Saleairy was terrified of the Masters that stood around her because of what they could do. They could take her memories again to cleanse her. Cleanse her of light, emotion and the memories of the people she loved. It mattered more now because she was good; she didn't deserve her companions but she didn't deserve yet another aching void.

"We will not harm you Padawan. We will not touch you in exchange for one thing." She trembled.

"What?"

"You must fully join the Order. Submit to our decisions, leave your companions and forever abandon what you call love. We will not harm your memory or identity but you will remember always what you cannot have."


	5. Explaining Intrusions

Saleairy woke screaming and crying. Carth also commented later that she'd been thrashing and decked him in the stomach. She was so frightened all her companions felt it and awoke. Even HK appeared at their door. Carth held her against him as she cried. She couldn't control the waves of terror and the only thing anchoring her sanity was Carth and the feeling that the people around her still loved her. They may even need her. Bastila meditated near her until a reasonable calm spread and she stood up again.

"Are you feeling better?" She still sobbed in silence against Carth's chest. Bastila looked just as disturbed. "I don't understand this. If you were so distressed about something I should've felt it."

"I get the feeling it's better you didn't." Carth said as Mission handed Saleairy a tissue. His voice bobbled into the lower tones of near choking concern. Canderous rubbed the back of his neck. Saleairy didn't cry often and even less often in front of everyone. She was always strong and when she reached her breaking point, she would often do so alone, away from others to avoid causing them distress. He remembered finding her once at her breaking point on the world of the Builders. They were preparing to leave and would do so at nightfall. Jolee and Juhani had accompanied her to the Temple and they faced Bastila. She'd walked away after all was said and done; she didn't have to ask to be left alone. Canderous felt something was wrong when she left with such a strange look. He followed her, the signs few and far between as to where she was going. He found her sitting on a boulder that overlooked the beach and shallows that were one over sized ship graveyard. She heard him coming and buried her head in her knees as she curled into a near fetal position. Canderous didn't fathom her crying but felt awkward all the same.

"Saleairy?" She tensed and he noticed she was shaking.

"Yes Canderous?"

"Is something wrong?" Canderous asked.

"Canderous, I'm not being a very good leader right now and I know that's what you respect me for, so please, do me the honor and leave before I embarrass myself." He realized she might be crying. She didn't move her head from her knees.

"I admire you for other things besides being a superior leader. You are strong whether you realize it or not. Mercy never made you weak like I thought it would. You did not kill Bastila where she stood because you knew you still had the chance to redeem her. You weep for her now because you hurt her and you're scared for her because she is too stupid to be scared for herself. You were always a better Jedi than the princess, because of what you're doing now. You weep now because you lost a close friend who battled alongside you like a true warrior would." She laughed.

"Canderous, I admire that you respect me but I have wept for things you would abandon me for."

"I would never abandon you and I know you feel pain every time you cannot save someone, even the insignificant lives we've dealt with. You hurt when you found out all the pain you caused as Revan, but you were always better than Revan at winning without hurting people because you know what winning at all costs feels like." She looked up at Canderous and he saw tears streaming from her face.

"I-"

"You are strong. Stronger than Revan."

"Canderous-"

"I will stay by your side no matter who turns against you."

"Then I won't let you down." She brushed her tears away, not willing to let her pain influence her followers. Canderous caught her before she fell off the rock and set her down, holding her like a child as he did so. She smiled and thanked him. She would bury the pain and move on for her mission and her companions.

That was what a real leader would do unless something caught them off guard and in bed, like it had with Saleairy now. Then she was not so terrified and much more was at stake. Now she was allowed time to let what had happened wash over her. Canderous felt moved to make a show of empathy and he wondered how.

"Some warriors are often plagued by nightmares of their greatest hunts, perhaps it was that simple." Big Z growled at a soft volume. It was almost a purr as far as Wookies were concerned.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mission asked.

"Perhaps you should. If it disturbed you so greatly, it might be worth telling us." Juhani said. "If not for our sake, for yours. You tend to keep some things to yourself to ensure we are all strong."

"I feel that perhaps part of the vision pertains to the Council." Jolee said. "Perhaps you want to tell an old man who can dispel some common fears about the Council?" Bastila remained linked to Saleairy, mediating and trying to help calm her and offer comfort. Carth cradled her as she curled in his lap, quivering like a newborn pup huddling close to its mother.

"Query: Is there something you needed killed Master?" T3 wasn't beside HK and Saleairy noticed despite her blinding tears. The door opened again and Canderous reappeared with a cold towel and brandy with sparkling glasses. He poured a tall glass with ice for Saleairy and handed her the towel. She buried her face in it for a long moment as Carth held her glass. Canderous poured everyone a glass and waited. Saleairy showed her face again. She wiped the remaining tears from her face and sniffled. She was given more tissues and she took the brandy from Carth. She took a quavering breath and didn't try to smile.

"I'm sorry I woke you all up." Canderous scoffed.

"The one time you seem to need our help and you're apologizing? You always listen to us, it's about time we returned the favor." Everyone stared at Canderous. "You're all thinking it. Drink some brandy and tell us what you need us to hear." She took a drink and coughed.

"I'm sorry if it feels like I keep you guys in the dark sometimes. I'm sorry if I've faltered and caused you pain. I'm sorry if Revan," She stopped. "I'm so sorry."

"Saleairy-" Carth began.

"Let her speak Carth. She knows how we feel." Jolee said.

"I am always sorry, even before I knew I felt terrible if I couldn't make things right or if I hurt someone. I'm not just speaking about physical pain either. I know I caused pain that stays longer than a wound. But I watched that pain that I didn't mean to cause turn to healing and greater strength. But when I think of what Revan has done, I can't see that happening. I've hurt so many that I can't see good coming from it. I'm not Revan. I am who I am now. But when I go to the Council, I know they see Revan. I know they see the pain I've caused and I know they can feel the pain I feel for it but I don't know if they can let me live."

"Saleairy, how could you think that?" Carth gripped her shoulders and shook her. "You are what saved the galaxy. Revan saved the Republic and then turned on it. Malak would've torn the Republic apart if you hadn't saved it, saved us all. And now, you're going to show then that Revan is dead because you saved the Republic and you won't betray it." She blinked and Carth stopped shaking her.

"She left a lot out of her vision. She has always felt what she said." Bastila said. Bastila touched her hand and she started. Bastila only took her hand once before. Before she left to face Malak, Bastila took her hand and their palms touched. Bastila didn't speak because her voice would be marred and tainted by the sinister emotions lurking in her from Malak and her own heart. She just held Saleairy's hand for a long moment and dropped it, moving to her knees. So much needed to be said that a simple touch spoke for them.

"Saleairy, you need to tell us more." Jolee said.

"Yeah, you don't have to hide from us. You never needed to." Mission said. Canderous refilled her glass of brandy and she trembled.

"I don't know if I can."

"Try." Zaalbar said. "We want to help you through whatever you're so upset about." She almost started crying again, the tears stood in her eyes and she was about to bury her face in Carth's chest again. Carth took her hand and entwined their fingers. His hand over lapped hers and sheltered it. She sighed.

"Query: What distresses you so Master?" HK asked as he gripped his blaster rifle. She took another drink as Carth held the glass. He'd never seen her hands shake so hard before. He held one hand still in his own and it felt cold. The other shook so that she dare not hold a glass any longer. Watching her in such a frightened state reminded him of when her hands shook so hard before. He was no force adept but he had a vision. He would've followed her to the end to fight Malak, but he was not allowed to. He wasn't sure what separated them but he waited for her return with more emotions than he claimed to understand. He started when he saw different scenery from the hall he paced near the Ebon Hawk. He saw Saleairy, poised near Malak as he was trying to regain energy. Her hand trembled as she held her light saber above him. She didn't attack.

"Why did you follow Revan?" She asked. Malak stood with obvious difficulty and the glass shattered around a captive Jedi corpse. It turned into a malignant remnant as Malak absorbed its power.

"The same reason Carth and your companions follow you." He threw her with his force powers and she landed against a captive Jedi knight corpse. It fell against her and as obvious as it was to Carth that it no longer lived, she cried out in pain for it. "You! You caused this. How can you cry for what you have brought to the pathetic fools that follow you?" Malak was close now; close enough to deliver a very fatal blow. "Tell me."

"Because I will never be Revan again. I will never be a hero and a murderer again."

"But you are my dear. How many have you killed to reach me and become a hero? And now you think you will end me or convert me back to what you claim as redemption? You are a fool." She dodged the blow and the captive Jedi made Malak's blade stutter, allowing her time to put distance between them. She drove him back and he took a hard blow, falling. Their conversation was muted and far away but as Malak passed on Saleairy cried out in pain. She was wounded worse than Carth had ever witnessed but her pain was due to the truth in Malak's words. She was a hero as much as she was a murderer.

"I am afraid what the Council will tell me. I had a dream and they wanted to, to strike Revan from me. I don't understand why. I am Saleairy. I know." She knew because her friends would not love and follow Revan. Carth would never love Revan as he loved Saleairy. "But they were trying to frighten me. I, I don't understand why but they wanted me to be a Jedi. They threatened to strike Revan from me but it felt like it would harm me. They said they would not harm me if I joined the Jedi again, followed all their rules. They asked me to leave this life behind, to leave all of you." She closed her eyes in a vain attempt to not cry. She wondered if she made sense, babbling about some nightmare. She knew she'd been repeating herself and she wondered if her fear was enough to breach the gap and pass on the understanding of what she was so distressed about.

"I think you have faced the worst possible thing you could imagine the Council doing to you, my poor little Jedi." Jolee said.

"What?"

"You're obviously anxious about what the entire Council thinks of you. You are simply afraid that they will harm you for Revan's actions. They would never harm you. They cannot. You are a Republic hero and a Jedi who faced the most difficult trials known to any human. They would not ask you anything more unless you wanted to do something. And they certainly would not ask you to leave the people who you love the most."

"That would be heartless and Jedi are all about heart, right?" Mission smiled.

"You were right to be terrified Saleairy but that is no more than an outlandish nightmare." Bastila stroked her hand and got up. Juhani blinked.

"You truly have bore great pain. I think we are all just beginning to understand that. We will always be with you Saleairy Cheran."

"Query: Is Master feeling better or would it amuse her to see me make some organic meatbag dance?"

"Well, now that everyone is giving their heart felt advice, I should say something comforting." He leaned in closer to Saleairy and Carth until Saleairy looked him in the eye. "If those twisted old Jedi even think an unpleasant thought about you, they would have a blaster blot between their eyes."

"Oh how touching." Jolee said.

"Statement: I agree. My optical circuits are almost leaking." Saleairy leaned against Carth again and sighed.

"Thank you all for being there for me. You should probably try to rest more. I'll try to refrain from anymore screaming." Canderous chortled.

"Maybe if Carth hadn't let you fall asleep so quickly this entire episode could've been avoided." Saleairy chuckled as she leaned against Carth, watching them filter from the room. Carth offered her more brandy and she sipped it. She still gripped him with a binding embrace and she loosened.

"I'm sorry if I held you too tightly."

"You aren't a Wookie so no need to worry. Are you all right?" She nodded. He set the empty glass on the nightstand beside the bed and held her again. "It felt like you left something out. Do you want to talk about it? I don't know why you would tell me something and not Bastila or-" She was crying again and this time it was racking her entire body. It was so horrid Carth felt tears rising in his eyes for Saleairy. She spoke, tears still streaming.

"I couldn't tell them. They wanted me to give up everything Carth. I thought they were going to destroy everything I remembered. Then I realized they would leave the memories and make me leave you. They were going to make me loose you and they would let me remember what I lost." She cried into Carth for a long moment and felt a tear that was much hotter than hers. She looked up and Carth brushed his own tears away. She regained control of her voice. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"The thought of losing you is bound to upset me." She never saw Carth cry. "I wouldn't let them take you away."

"I've never thought about losing you before now." Saleairy said.

"I don't blame you."

"Even when we were on Taris I didn't want to think about being without you."

"You didn't love me back then." Carth said.

"I still didn't want to lose you. And you didn't even love me until I overcame what you feared was part of me. You could always love me but you didn't until you were damn well ready." Saleairy said.

"And you were the same way."

"Ah huh." Saleairy said with a scoff.

"When did you start loving me?" She giggled.

"I've always thought you were some sort of trouble maker but now I just find it more endearing."

"When did you start finding it endearing?" Carth asked.

"When I learned it wasn't an act for my benefit."

"What wasn't an act?"

"You." Saleairy said.

"I occasionally put a show on and let it go further with you."

"I know, Mr. Handsomest Pilot in the Galaxy."

"Wasn't it Universe?" Carth asked.

"I'm too tired to remember and don't try to over promote yourself." She rested her head against the pillows and sighed. "Is Dustil still on Telos?"

"Yes."

"I suppose I should look more presentable than I did at the Sith academy."

"Yeah." Carth rested his head on her shoulder.

"What does he think of me? I know you two talked that one night." She left Carth room to communicate with his son when aboard the Ebon Hawk, sitting in the crew quarters where she and Carth slept in the strange cots. She sat down to keep from pacing and shut her eyes to keep from being too anxious. When she opened her eyes, her friends sat around her. Big Z put a blanket around her and growled in a comforting tone. He didn't say anything but it was still reassuring. The rest of her companions remained silent like her, afraid to disturb the conversation. They all sat together in silence and it was the calmest moment of her mission when no words were uttered.

She wanted Carth to talk to Dustil and catch up before she entered the picture. Carth didn't blame her for his wife's death and she hoped Dustil wouldn't. They were similar but Dustil was so angry it caused her to be more wary of him than the average teenager. Carth could be just as angry and he was all those years of hunting Saul. She was able to help Carth let his anger go but she didn't know if she could help Dustil with anything. She recognized the look on Dustil's face when he first saw Saleairy. His impression only worsened when she defended Carth and handed Dustil the data pad that proved the Sith were evil. She wondered if Dustil would forgive her.

"He remembers the strong women who did great deeds of light in such a dark place. You did all those weird prestige acts before he left and the students told him what really happened."

"Why do you not sound convinced?"

"He is still very angry. We'll have some things to resolve." Carth said, sighing. Saleairy's heart jumped at the we in the sentence. "And yes I meant we. Dustil will get used to you. He'll probably even love you. He's a lot like me in that sense. The least we can hope for is becoming a family." Carth yawned.

"I've never been part of a family before." She was falling asleep and Carth's head on her was a reassuring attachment to reality.

"Why do you sound like you're warning me?" He smiled and resettled against her shoulder. "You'll do fine. He wants to get back to where we all should be."

"That would be more than I deserve."


	6. Sentimental Attachments

"They're sleeping so peacefully it's almost a shame to wake them." Juhani said. Saleairy would've snapped awake if she was aboard the Hawk or anywhere else. She couldn't open her eyes yet.

"She'll want to know. It's her droid." Saleairy opened her eyes.

"What did HK do?"

"They're holding T3 at the local authorities. We should go collect him before he's reduced to scrap." Canderous said. She peered around and saw Mission hovering in the doorway as well.

"We would've gone for him but they will only release him to you, since he has told them you are his only owner." Juhani said. Bastila came in and hurried Saleairy.

"Come now, come. You need to get your droid. I don't want to have to fix all the strange things he does on our ship." She pulled Saleairy and Carth's head fell from her shoulder, waking him.

"What's going on?" He looked dazed and almost hung over.

"Get dressed and come with me to keep T3 from being reduced to scrap." Saleairy said as she was pushed into the bathroom with a set of clean clothes. Bastila shut the door but Saleairy opened it, complaining that she wouldn't be caught dead in Carth's pants. Mission stifled a giggle at Bastila's glare as she retrieved more clothes for Saleairy and Canderous raised his eyebrows.

"Did you hear that Carth? Looks like you have some issues."

"Ha ha. It's funny to hear you criticizing my romance skills when you're currently without a significant other." Mission giggled and Bastila blinked.

"What is so funny?" Bastila asked.

"Whatever you think you know, I would advise keeping it to yourself." Canderous said to Mission as she retreated from the room. Canderous left after her and Carth got dressed. He was startled by HK appearing and showed it.

"Inferior greeting: Where is my Master, organic meatbag?"

"Saleairy is getting dressed to go claim your buddy T3."

"Statement: I will be accompanying her."

"Good, you can join us." Carth said with an unusual air of possessiveness. Saleairy's laughter gave her away.

"You two can't remain so uncivil with each other. And no war games or friendly fire either."

"Acquiesce: Very well Master. I'm sure a Republic solder wouldn't conceive of scraping me while your back was turned."

"Why scrap when you can sell the entire unit?" Carth said.

"Don't make me separate you." Saleairy warned.

"Statement: That would be a good idea Master." Saleairy rolled her eyes as she put her shoes on.

"Carth, are you ready to go?"

"Yes."

"Just checking. Should we stop for lunch now or after we get back?" Saleairy asked.

"When we get back." Carth said. "We can eat here."

"Good idea. HK, are you ready?"

"Statement: I'm always ready Master." Saleairy smiled at the bloody lusty tone. She remembered when she first bought HK that tone could scare her from a sound sleep. Traveling across the Tatooine deserts with an assassin droid wasn't as safe as it sounded. She was even more startled when they returned to the vendor that sold them HK. HK was hostile and the vendor was an inch from cowering in the corner of his shop. She could see why HK said they would get along well since she was well armed since she needed to be well armed to keep people from wanting to tear the droid apart (once he was shut down, that is).

Saleairy walked a little ahead of Carth and HK was scouting the route. Carth caught up and was tempted to wrap his arm around her waist but her lightsabers hung where his arm should be. He always wondered why she was allowed to have two lightsabers. He heard from Jolee, Juhani and Bastila that dueling with two separate blades was a step from having a separated limb. He called her a neophyte padawan once and she didn't argue. Whether she showed it or not, stinging remarks from Council members reached her. Carth realized that it made her modest but also insecure in some situations. He never called her a neophyte padawan again but the hurt from his reference was palpable. She didn't know why the Council was sending her to get the Star Maps and when she asked for more she was scolded for not trusting the Council. Carth always regretted that comment. She proved him wrong so many times but she never questioned his doubts. She was more skilled with her lightsaber and adding one only improved her method, since precision and balance meant the world to her style. Saleairy noticed Carth's stare.

"Is something wrong Carth?" She asked. She was calm and she seemed to be observing the beauty around her without being too withdrawn or distracted; she was always balanced.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Saleairy asked.

"Yeah." She looked at him and blinked.

"Carth-"

"Observation: It seems that we've found the ambiguous 'local authorities' Master."

Saleairy opened the door into darkness and blinked. She walked down and Carth followed her as close as he could. He didn't want to lose track of her. He was used to following her in dark places and even if this dark place wasn't dangerous, he didn't want to lose her. He trusted her force powers to held guide her. He wondered if this no lighting scheme was an attempt at intimidation or a cry of low budget.

"Stairs." She said. Carth reached for her hand and their fingers entwined. His grip was tighter and she sensed his apprehension. They'd been in too many dark caves and caverns for him to not have a stigma about them.

"Why the hell would they do something like this?"

"Door." Carth bounced off it. "Sorry."

"Look for a knob." Carth said. Neither of them moved.

"HK, do you have a light or something?" Saleairy asked.

"Statement: Indeed Master."

"Why didn't you get it out sooner?" Carth snapped.

"Inferior statement: No one asked me, meatbag. Master is competent in darkness and I assumed she could hold your hand through all this." Carth heard Saleairy chuckling. HK flashed a light at where they stood and they realized they were standing very close to each other and the door. Saleairy dropped Carth's hand and opened the door. The blinding light made Carth recoil and HK complained. Saleairy was adjusted to it the instant it hit her pupils. Carth guessed it was some force technique.

Saleairy wanted to kick herself for her instincts. She wanted to cling closer to Carth when the light hit. That wasn't a Jedi or Saleairy. That was insecurity. Insecurity wasn't Jedi or Saleairy. She reconsidered and admitted that Saleairy the Jedi was insecure but not so much that she needed Commander Onasi to protect her from the "local authorities".

"Hello. Can we help you?" A Rodian walked up to Saleairy and waited.

"I have a droid I want to collect."

"Ah, the T3 unit?"

"Yes. Did he cause you any problems?"

"Three force fields mysteriously malfunctioned."

"Oh dear. I can fix them. It isn't the first time he's tried this. I'm terribly sorry." The Rodian led them to T3 and T3 beeped in an apologetic manner. "How much is the impound fee?"

"We only accept donations." The Rodian said. Saleairy handed him a hefty donation and fixed the force fields. Carth liked watching her fix things with her thin fingers and deft gestures. He smiled as she got up from where she knelt, brushing off her pants.

"That should do it. I'm sorry for any other troubles."

"Why do you have such a strange lighting scheme?" Carth asked. He wasn't testy; he was angry. He didn't like ominous surprises when there wasn't any real danger present.

"It's a low budget method of checking any people for spice use. Sudden light like that will make the pupils widen and if spice is present, the pupils stay wide and have unusual specks."

"I've never heard of that." Carth said.

"It's more specifically for the kind of spice that is grown locally. We don't have much trouble here, but we want to avoid it if we can. Oh, and ma'am, our technician suggested a memory wipe if you have any further problems." Saleairy laughed as they stumbled up the black stairway.

"Statement: I would've thought their technician would've performed the procedure himself, since the unit appears to have caused so much trouble."

"The technician probably got a nasty surprise when he tried." T3 was waiting outside and they took a detour on the way back; Saleairy was enjoying the planet's aesthetic beauty. The buildings accented the natural scenery and no land speeders hovering around, humming and making those strange noises they made when left idling too long.

"So HK, I'm curious about something." Saleairy asked. Her coy tone hid unexpected questions and only Carth could sense it.

"Statement: Perhaps I could alleviate some of your curiosity Master."

"I think you could. Why were you looking for T3 earlier?"

"Evasion: Oh, no reason Master."

"HK-"

"Irritated statement: Oh very well, I found a vendor who was very interested in this particular unit." T3 beeped with a new tone of anger Saleairy hadn't heard.

"HK-"

"Statement: If I was outdated by superior technology as your unit has been, I would gladly be sold to ensure my Master's advantage."

"That's because you're too valuable to ever be out dated, isn't it?" Carth said.

"Smug statement: Indeed. Honestly Master, even the inferior meatbag understands, I would hope you would as well."

"T3 is also too valuable to be replaced." Saleairy said.

"Condescending statement: Oh Master, I do hate it when you attach a sentimental value to such lowly, basic beings. And this unit is one of the more tasteful selections of the objects you claim hold you affections."

"I assume I'm high on that list of affections." Carth said. Saleairy raised her eyebrow at the smug tone he used.

"Annoyed statement: And honestly Master, Commander Onasi? I would have trouble finding one of those pig men who would be dumb enough to attach a sentimental or emotional value to this one."

"I am right here." Carth said.

"Inferior statement: I am well aware, meatbag."

"Why are you so hostile all the sudden?" Carth asked.

"He's always been hostile." Saleairy shrugged her shoulders. "You just tend to ignore it."

"Statement: Once again, Master is very correct. The Republic meatbag is quite unobservant. I've noted similarities to a Gizka. I learned more about the creatures after you asked me about the ones aboard the Ebon Hawk Master." Saleairy laughed.

"I've noticed the similarities too. I bet if I scratched behind his ear, he'd squeak too."

"Extrapolation: And if I accidentally fired my blaster at him, do you think he would react the same as the Gizka Master?"

"I think he might tend towards violence. No stray blaster shots either."

"Statement: Very well Master."

"Don't sound so disappointed." Carth said. He pretended to be sulky and it hid his smile as he wondered if she would test the Gizka theory. Saleairy looked at Carth and seemed surprised. She smiled and shook her head.

"Maybe." Carth was sure he hadn't said anything. His face might have given him away.

"Saleairy, did those Jedi even teach you to read minds?" Carth asked.

"Maybe."

"Can you read mine?" Carth asked.

"I can guess." Saleairy said.

"How often are your guesses right?"

"How often do you think?" Saleairy said. She would play with him a bit.

"I dunno. Either you're good at guessing or you're lucky." He wrapped his arm around her waist, above her lightsabers. His fingers tickled her.

"Statement: I've also noted vast similarities between Commander Onasi and what you referred to as 'cantina rats' Master." Saleairy laughed so hard Carth felt it. Carth's grip tightened and pulled them closer.

"Are you laughing because that's absurd or are you picturing me in one of those Twi'lek dancing outfits?" Her increased laughter and rolling tears told him she wasn't thinking about the outfit until he mentioned it.

"Observation: Commander Onasi doesn't have the legs to sport such an ensemble well." T3 hummed and Saleairy laughed.

"Apparently I'm the only one with a sentimental attachment to you." Saleairy said.

"I don't mind that." Carth said.

"Inferior jab: Who is being sentimental now, Commander Onasi?"

"If Saleairy didn't have a sentimental attachment to you, you'd be in some trouble right now." Carth said.

"Statement: Of Master's current company, her sentimental attachment to me is backed by the most worth since I am worth a dozen Republic solders-"

"Let's not go down this alley of conversation." Saleairy said. T3 beeped and she laughed. "I have more than sentimental attachments to you all and whether or not you deserve it is beside the point." Carth was tempted to kiss her but he refrained. She was going to be slow as far as kissing went and not for lack of trying. She was just careful and even her caution couldn't stave off interruptions. He almost wished he'd done as he first envisioned and stopped her in the pitch stairway, kissing her and leading her down to collect their droid. Then he delivered a mental kick to his man hood for her since she was as independent as she was beautiful. She smiled at him.

"What?"

"Even your thoughts involving me are corny." Carth blinked and took a moment to consider what could've just happened.

"I thought you said 'maybe'?" Carth asked. She inclined his face to hers with her delicate fingers and looked into his eyes.

"What do you think maybe means?" She hand rested behind his ear, her fingertips brushing his earlobe.

"Objection: If you are going to experiment with Commander Onasi's reactions and Gizka likeness, could we start with something more riveting, perhaps shock treatments?"

"No." They both said with a short fuse. Shock treatments made them both think about being captured and facing Saul. Watching Carth suffer was the worst pain Saleairy knew. She realized how much she loved him when his face contorted in agony and she couldn't do a damn thing about it. All the Jedi training in the world couldn't stop the anger. That pain in Carth made it difficult for her to tell Carth not to murder Saul when she didn't trust her voice, emotions or her hands as they held her lightsabers. Her pain became a steady ache when Carth confirmed how much pain he'd suffered, how he wished almost for a split second she caved, just to stop the pain. She swallowed to keep her tears down and Carth didn't need Jedi powers to read her mind.

"HK, did I ever thank you for busting us out on the Leviathan?" Carth asked.

"Recollection: No, you were rather short tempered at that point."

"Well I should've. Thank you." Carth said.

"Startled acknowledgement: I know I deserve thanks and be assured just because you don't praise me often doesn't mean the value of such praise is higher than Masters."

"I thanked you then but I don't think you know how much it was worth. Thank you for being loyal to us HK." HK proved the point about Carth's praise being lower in value to Saleairy's by assuming a new tone similar to a tear choked strain.

"Statement: I am ever so glad that your sentimental attachment to me hasn't clouded your appreciation of my combat skills Master."


	7. Patience

When they arrived at the hotel, everyone was awake and wandering. Their detour took them longer than expected and it was almost time for dinner. Carth and Saleairy freshened up, standing side by side in front of the mirror after taking showers. Carth blinked at Saleairy. Carth noticed she wore clothing that was more feminine than heavy grade armor and Jedi robes; the style suited her. Everything suited her. She peered at Carth.

"You look nice in non Republic issued clothes." He chuckled.

"And you look stunning in your non Jedi non battling attire."

"Who says I can't battle in this?" Her lightsabers still hung on her belt.

"No one said that." He backed out of the room and she laughed as she followed him. She bent over her suitcase and rummaged.

"I always knew you were afraid of me going Jedi on you."

"Not afraid, terrified." He teased.

"Don't patronize me." She said.

"I wouldn't dream of it beautiful." Her arched eyebrows made his grin fade to a less mischievous one. "I'm sorry if I've ever implied you weren't a good Jedi."

"I suppose hanging around with you would imply that to other people well enough." She said.

"Snippy. I'm serious."

"You never _implied_ that I wasn't a good Jedi or that I shouldn't be trying to save the galaxy. You were never one for subtleties." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm sorry. I never meant that comment." He cursed his vocabulary.

"Yes you did. And I shouldn't be upset with you for it either. You're right. Neophyte is a good way to describe me." That was why he disliked the Order's role in Saleairy's life. She shouldn't give in like that. Anyone who wasn't close to her would think it was a lack of strength in Saleairy rather than a perverse weight of some Jedi's snide remarks.

"No I'm not right. I wasn't then and you shouldn't let me get away with it." He hated having to encourage her to be stubborn even as rare as the occasions were. He knelt next to her and wrapped his arms around her, stopping her rummaging.

"Don't encourage me to fight with you. I knew you were angry with me on Dantooine. I didn't want to argue with the angry Carth." He pulled her down from her crouched position onto his lap. She settled against him and he realized how cold she was. He held her closer and she rested her face against his collar.

"No, you didn't want to argue with me because it would be arguing that you were more than a lowly padawan who gets spat on and stepped on and kicked on a regular basis to keep them from the dark side." She listened to his heartbeat and sighed. He knew she didn't have the strength to argue with him and the principal he baited her with. He touched her face with reverence and sighed. "Why do you pull things out of me with such ease and when I get rough with you and it really matters, I get nothing?"

"You're stronger than me. You're willing to pull with me and I won't pull with you." She looked at his face and sighed. "In my defense, if I truly believed every philosophy of the Jedi was correct, I wouldn't be with you right now." She blinked at him and her statement sunk in.

"Ha! I win. I got you to defend yourself against those stodgy, theology ridden, text reading, no life having-"

"I was defending you, you addle brained Gizka. We both win." Saleairy said.

"So I'm really a Gizka to you?" She smiled.

"You're more like the ones on the world below the Star Forge. You're a little more to look at then the ship dwelling ones. Actually, you are a flyboy, so you're probably more like the ones on the ship. You know, the ones you were too chicken to suggest leveling out their population with Gizka poison?" She smiled.

"Where did they go anyway?"

"They liked this planet. There's still one on board. I think it's some what of a pet."

"Who keeps Gizka as a pet?" Carth said.

"I've seen Canderous feeding one of them. I think it's the one still aboard."

"Canderous has a tender side?" She chuckled.

"Apparently. I think that's why HK claims to have some knowledge of the subject now. Canderous probably asked him to look up what Gizkas eat." Carth faced the omnipresent temptation of kissing her and sighed, resting his cheek on her head. She knew he was restraining himself. She held his face in her hands for a moment and smiled.

"What?" He asked.

"I don't think you'll ever know how much I love you. Every time I look at you, you're doing something that makes me happy in some weird way or another."

"I'm not doing anything right now." Carth said. He wasn't as confused as he sounded.

"I have patience." Carth kissed her and she caressed his face with her feathery fingertips. When he pulled back, her hands remained in his hair and she stared at him.

"I ran out."


	8. Ready to Sleep

Jolee waited for the crew to show up for dinner. He was the only one with reason to be prompt. He lit his cigar and sighed. Carth and Saleairy showed up, holding hands. He'd never seen Carth with a tighter grip, even when he clutched his blaster or vibroblade. Saleairy's grip was subject to scrutiny at any other time. She held his hand just as tight. In battle, he observed she would falter under a hefty blow on occasion. Her grip could falter but her other blade would be there to protect her. Jolee wondered if he was right about her style needing one double-sided blade rather than two singles but he never tested the theory. He doubted her having the desire to train in dueling right now anyway.

"Well, I'm glad to see you retrieved your droid. Get lost?"

"HK wouldn't stop for directions." Carth said.

"Observation: I'm sure a meatbag would've remained wandering in those urban decaying streets for days, regardless of any asking for directions."

"Where do you come from?" Carth demanded. "You need entrance music or something."

"Inferior statement: I am an assassin droid, meatbag. Should I explain what an assassin is, or are will you ask Master later to save yourself the embarrassment?" Saleairy chuckled.

"Can we sit down and have a civilized meal?" Saleairy asked.

"As soon as everyone else gets here." Jolee said. Mission walked in with Zaalbar chewing on an appetizer. T3 trailed after them and found a spot to sit and observe. Carth sat down next to Saleairy, closer than the last meal. He touched her knee for a moment as he saw the far away look in her eyes. She was remembering Taris. He didn't know how he knew but he did.

"Have you heard from Griff?" Saleairy asked. Mission shrugged her shoulders. "We'll talk about it, if you need to." Saleairy said with her soft, purring sincere tone. Her voice was so many things and it never failed to make Carth love her more.

"Are we going to have a real party this time?" Canderous said. He sat next to Jolee and Jolee offered him a cigar. Saleairy wondered how a Jedi and a Mandolorian ended up with such similar tastes. They would take turns buying rounds of the same drink the evening before they left a planet.

Juhani and Bastila walked in and took seats near Saleairy. They smiled the non-plastic smile of friends rather than Jedi and Carth knew the difference. They'd both been a bit cold with him and he realized it when they all grew accustomed to Saleairy. He noticed the differing sub tones and body language and the smile. He was hurt at first because he knew why they treated him the way they did. He was a man. He'd been a married man before and it was obvious he cared for Saleairy. They were being cold to keep him civil. They relaxed and relented; he guessed they figured out Saleairy could beat him into submission if need be.

"How are you feeling Saleairy?" Bastila asked. She touched Saleairy's hand and Carth wondered why. Bastila didn't seem like the touchy feely type and she just started doing it.

"I'm fine." Bastila always had a strange disarming affect on Saleairy. Carth would notice her eyes tearing up when he thought Saleairy was cheery if Bastila asked a simple question. Carth stopped questioning their bond long ago. Juhani smiled.

"You seem better. More calm and happy." Juhani looked at Carth and Carth kept from squirming. "How are you Carth?"

"I'm fine." He covered Saleairy's hand with his own. Juhani knew he would be fine if Saleairy was.

"Thank you for understanding Saleairy's visions Carth. It is good you were close enough to aid her when we could not be there." Juhani said.

"I was only up a few moments before you all came in." Carth said.

"Being near her while she had the vision helped her escape sooner. You were her tie to reality. It is good you were there." Carth stopped wondering how the intense, fervent Jedi women felt about his presence in Saleairy's life.

"Are we ready for a little celebration?" Saleairy asked. She didn't need to ask.

They ordered dinner and drinks and chatter filled the room. Saleairy leaned on Carth and watched. The vision took energy from her along with the long day on limited sleep. Carth brushed the hair from her face and she smiled at him.

"Hey, love birds, do you want the special?" Canderous asked.

"What's the special?" Carth asked.

"Corellian brandy with two straws and one of those parasols." Canderous said.

"Sure." Carth said.

"And keep the gazing deeply into each other's eyes to a minimum, please." Mission said.

"Two souls have found one another in this enormous, uncaring galaxy Mission, is that not precious?" Saleairy wasn't the only one surprised when they first heard a similar sentiment from Big Z on the planet below the Star Forge and now his heart felt spiel made the group laugh. They understood each other enough to claim no offense from most remarks.

"We think it's precious Z." Saleairy said, sticking her tongue out at Mission.

"Be careful Carth, this one will get a grip and you won't be able to wrench her loose." Jolee said. "I know the type."

"I think he submitted to the death grip of her womanly persuasion long ago, quite willingly." Canderous said. The brandy glasses were accumulating. Their "special" had arrived along with two glasses of champagne for Carth and Saleairy.

"We never did hear why T3 was impounded." Bastila said. "Perhaps you should enlighten us."

"Statement: Indeed Master, perhaps you should ask the stubborn unit what rabble rousing he was involved in."

"T3, what were you up to?" Saleairy asked. He hummed and whistled for a moment.

"Can you really understand that?" Carth asked.

"Sometimes. He was caught dipping into some not so public information banks. What were you looking for?" T3 whistled. "What did you find?" Saleairy took a datapad from T3 and read it. Her face paled.

"What?" Carth said.

"Nothing. He was looking for information about my home world." She tucked the pad away and ordered a glass of wine.

"Did he find anything?" Carth asked.

"No."

"Observation: Master is out of practice in the art of deception."

At the end of the night Saleairy was exhausted and her voice was giving out. Her abdomen ached from laughing so hard and she collapsed on the bed. Carth followed her, shutting and locking the door. He went to the bathroom and came out in his pajamas, yawning. He pulled her up and gave her a gentle push towards the bathroom.

When she relapsed on the bed, he noticed her ponytail was still in and pulled it out, tossing the ribbon to the nightstand. She blinked at him.

"Did you think it was important that I kissed you?" She asked.

"I got that impression mostly from your brave Jedi companions who seemed to be concerned with defending your honor from my man ho ways." She laughed in earnest and he grew agitated at being left out of the joke. "What's so amusing?"

"I didn't care who kissed who and neither did they because I don't have control issues."

"So I didn't have to wait and wait and wait and be interrupted again and again and aga-" She kissed him mid syllable and held the sides of his face.

"Nope." She said.

"Damn." She giggled. She rested against his chest as they leaned on the pillows.

"Did you think I'd be a good kisser?" She asked.

"Maybe I didn't make this clear earlier, but I don't have time to think those thoughts between you and your Jedi mind readers." He pouted and she smelled the champagne and brandy on his breath. He didn't drink too much just because neither of them felt like it. He still drank more than her but he claimed to hold it better. He was bigger.

"Are we 'Jedi bashing' you again?"

"Maybe a little."

"I'll keep that in mind when they ask if you're behaving." She snuggled closer and wondered how she was comfortable when Carth was fidgeting.

"What did T3 find? You never really said-"

"Does that have to be tonight?" Saleairy asked.

"We could do other things, I suppose." Carth said, blinking at his own innuendo.

"Oh fine. T3 was looking for any information on Revan. He was adding files from the Council about how Revan is redeemed et cetera and so forth. He found an article about Revan." She swallowed and stopped.

"And?"

"And, there's a reason I don't have a family anymore."

"What happened?" Carth asked.

"They disappeared. T3 found another article but he couldn't get it in time. I'm not sure what happened." Her eyes were devoid of expression and she was stoic. She slid off of Carth and put her hands on her face.

"How can you be so calm?"

"I've wondered that so many times before. I feel so many things that eventually I have to start ignoring them, pushing them away." She sighed. "I'm one hell of a Jedi. The Council is going to have my ass for that kinda of attitude."

"Well as long as you know what to push away and when to push it away, it's alright."

"Not for a Jedi. Not for someone like me. If I started pushing, I'll start ignoring everything. I'll be deafened to what I really need to hear." She opened her eyes. "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"No. I don't." She sensed his tone and the approaching testiness.

"Revan went to war because she couldn't stand listening to the crying of others inside her. When she learned to push through them and ignore them is when she became Darth Revan, tormentor of a galaxy. I can't stop listening, not for a split second. But I have. Sometimes I thought it was necessary. That's why I'm so scared of the Council now Carth. I'm sorry for this, I shouldn't be talking about it-"

"No, it's good for me to know what's going on. Can I read the article?"

"It's no more than a side note. I sent T3 to get the second article. This one only says my family disappeared. I don't know what I would do if I could find them. I'm not any Revan anymore, and even if they wanted, Revan back, I-" Her tears choked her and she stopped. "God, I hate crying."

"It's okay." Carth didn't touch her because she didn't seem so vacant anymore and he didn't know how to comfort the magnitude of pain she faced.

"I suppose it will have to be okay." She blinked away the tears with a painful slowness that Carth was used to.

"Are you going to sleep at all?"

"I'm not ready to sleep." He stayed beside her as she remained awake the entire

night.

Dawn never seemed so slow. Saleairy remained where she was to be polite to the sleeping Carth. She was at a loss. Her family, Revan's family may be alive or Revan could've slaughtered them. If they were alive, Saleairy was related but they would remember someone different. She wondered how different. She got up and sought HK out. He patrolled the halls at night, guarding his Master's door most often. He seemed pleased at the attention and compliments he received from Saleairy so often.

"Hello HK."

"Greeting: Good morning Master. It is very early for you to be awake."

"I know. I didn't go to sleep. I thought I was tired but I guess I was wrong."

"Observation: Is Commander Onasi keeping you awake? Does he still snore? I've heard him in the Ebon Hawk and I know of a well suited remedy for his ailment." She watched him grip his blaster rifle and smiled.

"No, Carth isn't it. HK, do you remember Revan?"

"Statement: Of course Master."

"I am very much like her?" She blinked.

"Observation: This dialogue seems familiar. I will echo my previous response in that you are a generally improved organic meatbag."

"Well, yes, but I was different before I built you I suppose. Was Revan's personality similar?"

"Statement: In some very basic aspects yes but you act on these personality basics very differently than Revan did Master. I suppose it would be considered a very positive change since you no longer wipe away human life with me at your side. But I find it strange that I take pride in the mundane task of protecting you and the meatbags you travel with. It is a very unworthy task but I seem to enjoy it. I would suggest having that looked at Master. Although, you acting with more concern for meatbag life and happiness may have caused this error in my systems." She smiled.

"Thanks HK." HK walked towards the other hall and she heard Carth in their room. She went back inside, shivering. Carth came out from the bathroom and scratched his head.

"Have you slept at all?"

"No and I probably look like a nightmare." She said.

"It'd be a fantasy for me." He said, smiling.

"You're a little dopey when you first wake up." She smiled at him.

"Come back to bed. You could get at least another hour of sleep. Most of us are a little more hung over than you. Canderous is probably a lot more hung over." Carth collapsed on the bed and she slid in beside him, yawning.

"It's probably a good idea to rest." Carth pulled her towards his chest and kissed the top of her head. "I can tell you're a parent." Saleairy said.

"Really? How?"

"You know how to sooth people." Carth sighed.

"I wasn't around to sooth Dustil so I guess you're just responsive." She looked at

him and blinked.

"I know Dustil will forgive you."

"I know he will forgive me but it's still a fact that I wasn't there. I mean, I don't regret serving the Republic but not seeing him, not being there for him, I couldn't protect him. Or his mother." Saleairy turned her face away from his. That would be why he promised to protect her. He kissed her neck and she wondered if he thought of his wife often. She wondered if she was making his wife fade into a ghost of a memory. She shivered. "Need more blanket?"

"I'm cold." He held her tighter and pulled the blankets higher.

"You had a strange look on your face a minute ago, what's going on?"

"Do you think about her very often?"

"Dustil's mom?" She nodded and Carth noticed the fleeting look of fear in her eyes as he rested his face on her shoulder. "Only when I think of how I should've been there for Dustil. How hard it must've been to grow up without a dad. How hard she must have struggled to raise him." Saleairy tried to hide her tears but failed. "What's wrong?"

"You and your family went through so much pain." She cried harder. "I'm sorry. I was sorry before I knew I was Revan too."

"Why are you crying for something that's already over? We're done struggling through, we're done with hardships. We're a family now." He kissed her shoulder and she wondered if he'd told Morgana the same thing. She shrugged him off and walked out of the door again. She didn't know where she was going but she knew she needed to stop thinking about the past, the people who were hurting, the people who cried-

"No!" Bastila grabbed her shoulder and flipped her around, pinning her to a wall. She was frozen by fear as Bastila's grip caused her to focus. Bastila seemed angry, anger only matched when she had fallen to the dark side.

"What?" Saleairy was frightened by the intensity of Bastila; a strange flood of emotions bombarded her through their bond.

"You can't ignore the pain you feel for other people. Every time you do, you're admitting that you don't care about anyone, even the ones you love the most." Saleairy shook and nodded her head. Bastila released her shoulders and Carth blinked from the doorway.

"Should I even ask?"

"No." Bastila said with a stiff, cold tone as she walked away. Saleairy dove back into Carth's arms, pushing them into their room. He shut the door and held her again. Mood swings. He would have to get used to the mood swings.

"Your shoulders-" She winced at his touch. "Bastila can be vicious, can't she?" She nodded and brushed away her tears. Carth blinked. "Do you want to talk?"

"I'm not ready for talking yet." Carth kissed a tear on her cheek and she smiled. "I am ready to sleep though."


	9. Anything Sharp

Saleairy slept until mid afternoon. She opened her eyes and found the room empty. She yawned and stretched. She'd woken because it was cold. Carth left a while ago, hours passed and she somehow misplaced her blankets.

She went to the bathroom and showered. Carth called it a fresher but she couldn't remember ever referring to it as such. She liked being able to shower when she felt like it. She didn't drag herself into a cold shower because a krayt dragon had caused her to sweat in the desert. She chuckled. That was the worst hang over ever.

"Hello beautiful." Saleairy started to see Dustil sitting where Carth should be at the dining table.

"Hello Dustil." She didn't know if everyone should be calling her beautiful and Dustil didn't seem to mean it in any companionable way. "What brings you here?"

"It's a beautiful place." Dustil got up and opened the blinds, turning her towards it by seizing her upper arm with a grip like a vice. "Isn't it?" He hissed in her ear. He was standing very close behind her and his arm wrapped around her stomach. She squirmed in an attempt to free herself and Dustil stopped all movement in her. "Answer me."

"It's always beautiful." He chuckled and growled.

"How cute. I don't like what you're thinking. You want to get me away from you." He nuzzled her neck and she made a move to dislodge him. He held her and his fingers caused bruises. He nipped her neck and his teeth stayed brushing against her skin.

"Dustil, why are you here?" He bit her and she cried out in surprise. She pushed him away as he laughed.

"You still think I'm Dustil?" He said.

"You're a Shifter, I know. Why are you here?" She bled and wondered where her lightsaber was.

"I'll tell you when I come back beautiful." She pinned him to the wall.

"You aren't leaving until you tell me why." He smiled.

"Shifters leave when they want to." He disappeared and Saleairy collapsed on the bed. His teeth could become as sharp as vibroblades and they'd done a decent job injuring her. She called out for Bastila through their bond and Bastila came running.

"What's wrong?" She shut the door and sat next to Saleairy, touching her arm. "What happened?"

"A Shifter came in here as Carth's son, Dustil and he bit me."

"Why?"

"He didn't say. It hurt like hell." Saleairy said.

"It will heal." Bastila said.

"He said he would be back."

"Be wary." Bastila said. She could be just as protective as Carth.

"I didn't sense any danger from him. I think he was baiting me. His motivations aren't clear but they don't seem sinister." Bastila scoffed.

"He drew blood with his teeth like an animal. That seems sinister."

"Don't tell Carth." Saleairy said.

"Why not?" Bastila asked.

"Would Carth react well to anyone getting bitten in the neck after being hit on?"

"Good point. You look tired." Bastila said.

"I'm all right. Thank you for earlier, I can't let anything else slide. I'm going to catch hell for what I have let pass during our mission." Saleairy said.

"You're still a strong Jedi." Saleairy sighed.

"What are they going to say about Carth?" Saleairy asked.

"There are isolated incidents of Jedi having spouses or significant others and you are not like any other Jedi. You were able to walk the path of a true Jedi because of your companions support and Carth's ever hesitant love."

"Is that a hint of sarcasm?" She smiled at Bastila.

"Yes. Carth had better treat you very well or he will be at the business end of my lightsaber." Carth rubbed his neck as he stood in the doorway.

"It's all right Carth. You haven't done anything bad yet. Have you seen my lightsabers? I really needed them about five minutes ago. I don't remember where I put them." Saleairy smiled at Bastila and Carth scoffed.

"Between you and Bastila I'm surprised you don't keep extras. I put them on the bed side table when you handed me them last night."

"Thanks babe. I shouldn't hand you things when you're tired."

"Something's wrong." Carth said.

"We'll talk. Bastila, thank you for coming so quickly when I needed you. We need to talk." Bastila nodded and left.

"What's wrong?" Carth snuggled next to her.

"A Shifter was in here, he was using your son's form. He has a message for me, but he didn't deliver it. He bit me." Carth touched the bite mark and winced.

"How do you draw blood with your teeth?" Carth asked.

"You try hard. I don't know why he know about Dustil or what message he would have. He's coming back at some point or another."

"You'll be ready for him." Carth laughed. "Do you want my vibro double blade?"

"It's Yucranis' brand or something isn't it? You're the one who ogled at Tattooine."

"You bought it for me for eight thousand credits. It's behind the bed. It lends a little more life to threats when you can poke someone without amputating something."

"You're taking this well." Saleairy said.

"I've learned not to be overly protective if you don't see it as a threat. I'll just stay close by and make sure you have access to anything sharp the next time he comes around."


	10. Family Reunion

T3 came in as they sat together and Saleairy got up, kneeling next to the droid. She looked him over for any damage from his journey and she found none.

"Are you all right?" T3 beeped. "Good. What did you find?" He loaded information into her datapad and she thanked him as he left.

"What did he find?" She sat on Carth's knees and read the datapad.

"Dammit Carth. Why is this going to be so difficult?" She said with a tone Carth hadn't heard before.

"What's wrong?"

"Revan's family is alive and well. Her father was a Republic officer and her brothers are active solders now. Apparently, they're hunting me. They wanted me dead ever since I ended the Mandalorian wars. They knew I would betray the Republic." She swallowed.

"Easy. They'll have heard that you've changed. Besides, you're Saleairy Cheran now, not Revan." She clenched her teeth.

"I'm still biologically related to these people who want me dead."

"You aren't Revan." Carth was angered.

"No, I'm not but I do carry a stunning likeness to her Carth. That puts all of us in danger just like it has this entire dammed crusade. Only now I know I'm a danger to you. I'll know that I'm responsible for whatever happens." She got off Carth's lap. "I didn't expect you to understand. If you knew me as Revan, you'd want to kill me now."

"How do you know what I would want? I knew what a monster you were as Revan. I knew what a saint Revan had been. And I know who you are now. You have no right to tell me I would want you dead." She stayed where she was, her back to Carth. She was tense to the point of pain and she clenched her fists. "I love you. I would've followed you to hell and back, but not as Revan. I didn't follow Revan. I follow Saleairy." HK interrupted Saleairy's comeback without knocking.

"Statement: Master, there is a lot of yelling coming from this room. Is there something you need killed?"

"Don't tempt me HK."

"Statement: Oh, Master is tempted. Could I make an argument as to the benefits of disposing of certain, inferior meatbags?"

"Be my guest." She was seething and Carth crossed his arms.

"Extrapolation: I have noticed that only Commander Onasi moves you to anger. You are moved to empathy," HK shuddered. "which disturbs me greatly, by your other companion meatbags, but never such anger as you are clearly exhibiting towards Commander Onasi."

"And?" Saleairy asked.

"Statement: Anger is only useful when you can express it in a violent, pugilistic manner Master, so why not put him out of your misery and allow me to express your anger? I would ever so much enjoy pleasing my Master in such a way."

"Saleairy-" Carth began.

"Condescending interruption: Do not further anger my Master, inferior organic meatbag. She is considering your survival and she is the only one who has a favorable opinion of you who could dissuade me from punishing you."

"That won't be necessary HK. The terror you inspire is very pleasing to me. Do you want any upgrades? I'm going to see about finding some vendors."

"Statement: Upgrades are always welcome Master. My circuits are quivering in anticipation. You are quite talented at choosing very effective upgrades."

"I try. Do you want to accompany me HK?"

"Proud statement: It thrills me to accompany my Master anywhere that I might dispose of her enemies." She chuckled and it was almost a growl. Carth didn't like it when her blood craving droids made her laugh.

"Hey Canderous, want to come with HK and I to do some weapon shopping?"

"Observation: I believe the Mandalorian meatbag is still recovering from a deep state of inebriation Master."

"All right. Makes sense." She walked into the hall, her droid following her with a strange childlike giddiness. Carth shook his head and didn't follow her.

"Statement: Perhaps you should ask the Cathar if she wishes to come along. She seems as if she would appreciate weaponry of such a exotic planet."

"Good idea." Saleairy needed to be away from Carth so she didn't end up stabbing his man feelings with a vibroblade of misunderstanding. Juhani was helpful because she knew when to be quiet and serene. Saleairy was also nervous about encountering the Shifter again, alone. She knocked on Juhani's door.

"Yes?" Juhani said through an open door.

"Do you want to go for a walk with me?" Saleairy asked. HK stood in the hallway and Juhani wondered if the shouts she'd heard were resulting in this walk.

"Certainly." Bastila peered at Saleairy and was invited. Bastila could be calming if she knew she needed to be.

HK walked a few paces behind them and Saleairy picked an easy pace. She didn't need to run.

"Statement: We appear to be approaching a slight incline Master. I would suggest caution."

"Thanks for the warning HK." HK kept walking and she swore he seemed smug with all her praise.

"He seems to be warming up a bit, doesn't he?" Bastila asked.

"Statement: If by warming up, you are implying I am becoming more amiable towards meatbags, than you are quite wrong. Master has proven that she is more than an average meatbag and I value serving her higher than I value most life forms." Saleairy chuckled.

"Hey, wait up! What's the big idea leaving me all alone with all the guys?" Mission was indignant.

"I'm sorry Mission. I figured you would take the opportunity to make some credits on Pazaak." Saleairy said.

"I'd rather spend credits with the girls than take them from the boys. It's more of a challenge to go shopping than taking some Republic solder's lunch creds."

"Isn't Canderous more of a tough mark?" Saleairy asked.

"He won't play with me." Mission pouted.

"He knows better." Juhani said.

"Statement: If there is other purchases to be made, could I suggest purchasing my upgrades first Master?"

"That's our first stop. We want to make sure you have access to the best weaponry to protect us HK." Bastila said.

"Smug statement: I am some what relieved that you do not rely on the Republic meatbag to protect you."

"I don't rely on Carth for anything." Saleairy said.

"Oooo. Someone touched a nerve. I've been counting, and you've saved his butt more than he's saved yours." Mission said.

"Statement: And my butt saving skills are the highest, right Master?"

"Certainly. Mostly because you don't mutter comments under your breath at me."

"Statement: I had noticed the inferior meatbag grumbling Master, do you wish me to silence him?"

"No. I probably won't ever ask you to harm him for real HK. I might ask you to scare him, but if anyone gets to inflict pain, it will be me." Saleairy said.

"Did you two have an argument?" Juhani asked.

"Observation: The Cathar is being very polite Master. It was quite obvious you two were experiencing a 'lovers quarrel'." She cursed Carth's booming voice and her aggravated vocal tones.

"Yes, we were arguing. He needs me to explain things to him and I couldn't do it right then without stabbing his feelings with a dull stick." Saleairy was exasperated.

"Query: By feelings, you mean-"  
"I wouldn't literally have stabbed him."

"Statement: I wish you preface your poetic license with a warning that no meatbag will actually be harmed."

"I'll try to remember that." Saleairy said.

"What was it about?" Bastila asked. Saleairy didn't met Bastila's gray eyes.

"Revan's family is alive. They've wanted her dead since she left the wars. They're hunting her. It's going to be hard to explain to them that I'm Saleairy, not Revan."

"Indeed." Bastila said.

"Statement: Master, you have nothing to fear from a few blaster wielding maniacs."

"I don't want to hurt them if they come looking for Revan. That would only prove I've learned nothing." Saleairy said.

"Perhaps-" Juhani began.

"Statement: It is clear that this topic of conversation is upsetting my Master so I shall only ask once that this topic is aborted." Saleairy laughed.

"He's more protective than Carth, but not nearly as annoying."

"Where do we want to go shopping?" Mission asked.

"Statement: There is only one city and it is just past the 'local authorities' we visited previously Master. There are few stores, mostly small shops. There is one dress shop that may interest you since you're having yet another ceremony soon. There is also a small restaurant near the droid upgrade shop."

"Good. How far is it?"

"Statement: A few more moments Master."

"Can we pick your dress this time Saleairy?" Mission asked

"I haven't worn a dress to any of the ceremonies, why would I start now?"

"Dustil will be there and I'm sure Carth would appreciate it." Juhani said.

"I suppose you're right." She sighed. She never really knew what color she looked good in or what Carth would like or what she would like. She was good at lucky guesses.

The droid vendor was very impressed by HK and HK condescended to show off a little, posing as Saleairy picked out a few attachments. She paid for them and installed the new plating and flamethrower.

"You use your flamethrowers a lot." She bought a couple extras.

"Statement: They are my favorite next to grenades Master." She chuckled and they walked to the restaurant.

They ate a quiet meal and HK stood near their table, very alert to any chance to test his new upgrades. Saleairy listened to the women chatter and wondered if she'd had sisters like them. She let the pain dull her attachment to the world for a long moment and sighed.

"Are you all right Saleairy?" Bastila asked.

"I'll be fine. Are we ready to move on to some dress shopping? If I have to wear a dress, you all do too." Saleairy said.

"Objection: How would I torch your enemies wearing a dress Master?"

"You don't need a dress HK." Saleairy chuckled at the droid and the walked towards the dress shop.

Mission chose a red dress for Saleairy and Saleairy tried it on. It was tight but she could still move around in it.

"That's your color." Mission said. HK stood nearby the dressing room mirrors and commented.

"Observation: Indeed Master, you carry the color almost as well as I do."

They bought dresses and HK carried them on the walk to the hotel. Saleairy wasn't as tense or agitated and she whistled.

"You're in a better mood." Mission said.

"Yeah, I just needed a walk to calm down. We should go have dinner now. Our friends have probably been complaining about our absence." Saleairy said.

"I was under the impression they would enjoy not having any females around for a while." Juhani said.

"What do they do when we aren't there to entertain them?" Mission asked.

"I don't think any of us really want to know." Saleairy said.

"Saleairy!" Bastila scolded.

"What? I didn't imply anything. You thought what ever you thought by yourself." Saleairy said, smiling.

"Hello beautiful." Carth's voice was edged with something strange and they weren't anywhere near the hotel. No one could see Carth.

"Be careful. Mission, HK, run now." Saleairy said. She knew it wasn't Carth.

"But-"

"Statement: Master-"

"Now." They ran off.

"What is it?" Juhani asked.

"It's a Shifter." Dustil appeared right in front of Saleairy.

"I'm a Shifter. Indeed. How astute." He smiled. He reached to touch Saleairy and she stepped away.

"Do not touch me. Why are you here?" He smiled and hissed, almost purred his next words. "It's a family reunion."


	11. Messenger

"What are you talking about?" Juhani spat. Saleairy felt her Cathar blood seethe.

"Look around. Revan's family is back." He blinked long, black eyelashes at Saleairy. "If you survive, I will be back, beautiful." He disappeared and she cursed Shifters. New faces appeared around them. Grim, bitter and vindictive faces. They were all men, with black eyes and weapons.

"Hello Revan."

"I'm not Revan. I'm Saleairy." She blinked at the faces around her. "I don't want to fight you."

"We know who you are." They blinked at her. Black haired, black eyed and black hearted.

"Then perhaps you know it would be pointless to attack. She may not want to kill you, but if you attack us, we will be forced to defend ourselves." Juhani said.

"Revan is a threat to the galaxy unless dead."

"Some family." Bastila said.

"We're not Revan's family. We are followers of an ideal. Revan's family is in hiding, waiting for an opportune moment to strike." Their black eyes blinked at Saleairy. "Do you know what we are?"

"Shifters." Saleairy said.

"Yes. Why would we care whether you live or die though?" The darkest among them was very close to Saleairy.

"Enlighten me." Saleairy said.

"Revan had a few very secret projects. We were one of them. The people from Revan's home planet were genetically altered to be Shifters. Bred to hunt. It appears we're fulfilling our calling." He drew a twisted, vibro double blade that glowed. She leapt back and drew her lightsabers.

The battle that followed involved the slow retreat of all but three black-eyed men. One cracked Saleairy on the side of her ribs and she fell, gasping. He pinned her with his boot and rested the blade to her throat.

"Perhaps I should give you the Sith honor?" He picked up her lightsaber and it hummed to life. She was bleeding and she couldn't breathe. The lightsaber rested against her neck, burning. She whimpered and waited. His black eyes flickered. "I was told your blood would heal the virus that you infected us with." It burned her and she struggled under his foot. God, his weight was crushing her ribs.

"My death will only bring about the end of your followers. I am not Revan and you are the only ones who don't see it." Saleairy gasped.

"I hope you suffer once you are dead Revan."

Juhani slammed into him and they both fell. Saleairy rolled clear and saw he was the only Shifter remaining. She tried to stand but found she didn't have the strength. The man disappeared and Saleairy didn't see Bastila. Juhani helped her up and Saleairy blinked at the Cathar.

"You're not-" The Shifter changed back to Dustil, smiling.

"No beautiful. I don't want you dead. Battle tells all. You aren't Revan anymore." She stared at the black eyed Dustil. He came closer to her until an inch separated them. He leaned closer to her neck and smiled.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"I've never seen you confused before, beautiful. You shouldn't be. I'll always be back." He bit her neck like a kath hound and disappeared.

"God dammit." She was now bleeding from another wound. She'd tried not to hurt them all and she'd taken too much damage for her efforts. Where had Bastila and Juhani gone? She sat down and felt the blood draining from her wounds. God, Shifters were vicious.

"Saleairy?" Canderous came busting through some shrubs and Saleairy used to the force to ensure it was Canderous.

"Where did they go?" Saleairy asked.  
"Who?" Canderous asked.

"Bastila and Juhani."

"They chased the others off. Mission and HK went for help. Are you hurt?" Canderous asked.

"Yes but-"

"Is that a bite wound?" He asked.

"Yes." Canderous' expression was enough to ensure her that he would watch her to make certain she wasn't foaming at the mouth.

"I didn't see any feral animals so I'm guessing you've had a long battle. You're bleeding, a lot." Canderous looked her over.

"I know." Saleairy said.

"Hold still." Canderous picked her up and swung her into his arms like a child and she gripped his shoulders. He was tall. He'd terrified her when she first met him. She wasn't a Jedi then and Taris didn't inspire trust in the inhabitants. Seeing Canderous and his dark eyes made her wish she could find another way off the rock. She'd just kept from trembling when she met him and put up her best front. By then she already faced all the duel arena contestants, Vulkars and Sith. He knew her bluff and got as close as possible when he made the deal, towering over her. When she left, she left with Canderous watching her tremble in fear. He was surprised when the fear faded but he reasoned that if every woman got a lightsaber, there would be no self-confidence issues. She was used to him now but the initial terror still made her hesitant to touch his shoulder or any part of him at any time.

Canderous carried her for a long time through the forest until they found more of their companions. HK, Mission and Zaalbar were relieved to see Saleairy alive.

"Statement: Master, I wish you had not placed the safety of those dresses above your own."

"We were really worried about you." Zaalbar said.

"What happened?" Mission asked.

"We fought, I bled and they ran." She said with a hint of weariness. She was losing her focus because blood kept running.

"Saleairy!" Juhani and Bastila cried out and ran to her. Bastila saw Canderous holding her, cradling her like a child and softened.

"Canderous, thank you for finding her. We were worried when we got separated." Bastila said.

"We feared the worst." Juhani said.

"Canderous saved the day." Saleairy said. "Where are Jolee, T3 and Carth?"

"How did I get stuck with this party?" Carth came running and Canderous dropped Saleairy. She was so startled she would've fell to the ground if Carth hadn't caught her. God she was in pain. She showed it too. Carth picked her up like Canderous had moments earlier and sighed. "God I was worried sick." Carth was breathing heavy and he kissed her forehead. "Did you get bitten again?"

"Yes."

"Sick freak. Are you all right?" Carth asked.

"You're carrying me back." She rested her head on Carth's shoulder. T3 beeped.

"The droid is right. She needs some healing and a meal. Let's head back." Jolee said. Carth carried her the entire way and set her down outside the shower room. Her legs felt unsteady.

"Are you all right? Need help?" He was concerned and his eyes were as big as dinner plates.

"I can take a shower by myself Carth. I might need help at some other point though." She winked at him and almost fell over getting into the shower.

After the Jedi spent some time healing her, she joined her crew for dinner. The only wounds that refused to heal under the Jedi powers were the bite marks. Teeth impressions. She ate dinner beside Carth and they discussed what happened without her having to comment much. They moved on to drinks and entertainment.

Saleairy walked back to her room without accompaniment. She was tired and wanted to rest. She ached and her head throbbed. She sat on the bed to remove her shoes and sighed. She leaned back onto the bed and shut her eyes.

She felt a weight beside her and rolled to face Carth. A strange, cold hand touched her cheek. She didn't open her eyes.

"What is it, Shifter?" She spat.

"Beautiful, don't I get a better name than that?"

"What would you have me call you then? A stalker perhaps?" She opened her eyes and found Dustil's form next to her, hand on her thigh. His eyes were black and almost soulless. Almost.

"A messenger." His voice purred much like hers.

"A harbinger of doom." She muttered.

"Do you want my message?" He asked.

"Yes." Saleairy sighed. She'd been sleeping so well.

"How do you know you can trust me?"

"You are strangely calm and unemotional. You don't want me dead and whatever motivated you, you saved my life." Saleairy said.

"You're very sharp. The Jedi Council wants to see you before the celebration. They'll meet you on Telos. They felt your vision. They feel your struggle. They care." He touched her cheek. "I care too."

"You're a Jedi then?" Saleairy asked.

"Indeed." He said.

"Can I ask you something Jedi to Jedi?"

"Absolutely, beautiful." He said. His teeth were like a wild jungle cats and she shuttered.

"Why the biting fetish?" Saleairy rubbed her neck.

"To keep you from figuring out who I was." He touched the wounds and they faded to light scars.

"I found out anyway."

"At the right time." He corrected.

"Why did you lead those Shifter to me, then?" Saleairy asked.

"The Council wanted to make sure you would handle the situation appropriately before I gave you a message." She blinked.

"I must've missed the logic in that somewhere. One more question."

"Yes?" He smiled and reveled in her attention.

"Why are you in my bed?"

"Sorry." He got up and smiled. "Aren't you going to ask why I'm using such strange forms instead of the real Shifter I am?" She blinked at his atrocious sentence structure.

"Fine." Saleairy said.

"Don't act so dispirited. I choose those forms because I had to give the message to you alone and if a stranger walked up to you alone, I would have the entire crew on me. Besides, calling you beautiful was well worth it." He teased.

"Why Dustil?" She asked.

"To keep you guessing."

"What's your name?" She asked.

"No more questions for now, beautiful. I hear Carth coming." He disappeared and she yawned. Carth opened the door and smiled at her.

"You didn't even get in your pajamas."

"I'm tired and I got my message from the biting Shifter." She said.

"What did he say?" Carth growled.

"The Council wants to see me once we land. They felt the vision I had. They want to help me with whatever it is I'm going through." She yawned. He sat down and pulled off his boots.

"It's good they're treating you humanely, not sending Shifters after you or anything." Carth said.

"You're only irritated because I wouldn't let you come and protect me." She said, smiling.

"So?" He bent and kissed her lips. "I have a right to worry."

"Okay pilot man." She yawned and her eyes became bleary. She needed to get more sleep. She snuggled to one of the pillows and watched Carth get ready for bed.

"Saleairy?" She opened her eyes with the lethargy of a hibernating krayt dragon.

"Yes?"

"I love you." Carth said. She was awake.

"Is something wrong?" She asked. Carth chuckled and turned his back to her.

"The phrase 'I love you' always struck fear in your heart." Carth said. She narrowed her eyes.

"Why are you torturing me you damned Shifter?" She hissed. She almost gagged when she realized she'd kissed the Shifter, not Carth.

"I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't stab me." He smiled and Carth's chocolate eyes faded to his pitch black ones.

"Does this mean I get to know your name?"

"I have a few names and most humans don't toss them around lightly." He smiled.

"Why are you still here if you aren't going to tell me anything else?" She asked.

"I'm testing how angry you'll get." He said.

"Did the Council put you up to it?" She asked.

"No, I just think you're cute when you're mad or confused." He said.

"Your name in exchange for not getting pinned to the wall again." She hissed. She knew where Carth's vibro blade was and it was as dangerous as the angered solder who wielded it. It rested against her bedside.

"Daniel."

"Was that so hard Daniel?" She asked.

"Of course not. Be careful when you travel my dear, some of the galaxy's most dangerous people need more redemption on your part to forgive you." He smiled at her as she remained motionless on the bed.

"Are you going to leave now before I punish you for kissing me?" She asked.

"I suppose. Sleep well Saleairy." He disappeared again and she was tempted to pin whoever came through the door next just to ensure the end of any games. Carth wouldn't mind.


	12. Suffocating, Stars and Pants

Saleairy woke to Carth cursing as he stumbled on the vibro blade leaning against her side of the bed. She smiled and he collapsed on the bed beside her. She could read his face like a large print book. His cute, surprise embrace was not so surprising because of his keen grace. She smiled and remembered that she really did think he was like a Gizka. She rolled over to face him and petted him behind his ear. He laughed.

"I'm not a damn Gizka." She kissed his cheek.

"I could let HK experiment and find out once and for all." Her purring tone, resounding deep in her throat made him laugh.

"Let's not." She smiled at Carth and peered into his eyes. After a long moment, he seemed confused. "Why are you staring into my eyes longingly?" He rested his hands on her sides and pulled her closer.

"I can't see my life without you anymore."

Saleairy gasped as Carth's belt buckle jabbed her ribs. She chuckled and the motion made Carth laugh as he propped himself up on top of her. He'd untied her hair and it sprawled across the pillow her head rested on.

"Why do you wear a belt with the Republic buckle anyway? It's ostentatious and inconvenient." He kissed her neck and she ran her fingertips through his hair.

"It's an ice breaker." He said.

"Ice? What ice?" She kissed him and leaned against the pillows, looking at him with a strange expression.

"The ice that apparently melted within the past twenty four hours." He kissed her neck again and sighed.

"I was icy?" She asked.

"Not icy but distant." Carth kissed her again and she shifted under him.

"I didn't mean to be." Carth sighed as he stared at her. He stopped propping himself up and she made a noise as his weight settled on her frame with a soft thud.

"Who's the Gizka now?" She giggled. "I'm wondering how you can be so serious and then derail whatever was going on." He asked, stroking her face. She blinked at the affection and shifted under his weight.

"What do you mean?" She asked. She rested her arm around his neck and played with the hair that spiked from his forehead.

"I'll say something that might have bothered me for a split second and you seem very concerned, and then we forget whatever we were doing to fix it."

"I care about your feelings. It's strange though isn't it? A Jedi being empathetic?" She said, pulling on a stray strand of his hair.

"We never discuss what's bothering you to such lengths."

"What are you implying?" She asked.

"I'm implying I should stop mentioning things while we're doing something that's important." He kissed her and she laughed.

"Important?" She rolled on top of Carth and took an unrestricted breath. "Suffocating me ranks highly on your priority list huh?"

"Yes it does." He blinked at her and made a move to kiss her. She yawned. He sighed and pushed her off of him. She landed on the floor, looking startled.

"That was icy." She took a pillow and stayed on the floor.

"I only meant to get your exhausted carcass off mine." He peered at her from the bed. "You don't have to stay down there."

"I know." She made herself comfortable and shut her eyes.

"Saleairy-"

"My exhausted carcass is staying where it was tossed." She said.

"All right."

Moments passed where Saleairy dozed and Carth watched her, one arm over the side of the bed as the other propped his head up. She kept the knowing smile from her face and fell further into sleep. She was cutting the last threads to consciousness as seconds passed.

Carth dropped onto her from the bed.

"Ohh, Carth, that was, unexpected." She pushed him up and took a breath, letting him resettle.

"Should I be more careful? Do you need a fragile sticker?" He nuzzled her neck and collar. She giggled because his whiskers tickled her and she held his face still for a moment.

"You're frisky. Did someone spike your drinks?" She laughed as he smiled with a meek look of innocence.

"No, I've just been sleeping more lately." He touched her face and she caught his hand, running her fingers over his knuckles. "I'm the only one." She pushed him up so she could breathe for a moment without his weight pressing down on her and continued the conversations.

"I know babe. I'll be better. Are we leaving tomorrow?" Saleairy asked.

"Yes."

"I can sleep on the Hawk. The night sky here is gorgeous. Want to go onto the veranda to look?" She asked.

"You just want me off of you so you can breathe." She gasped as his belt buckle prodded her ribs.

"Maybe." He got up and pulled her up, keeping her hand in his and pulling her closer. She leaned on him and felt the ache in her ribs deepen.

The veranda stretched across all the rooms their friends stayed in but they stayed in their own section, leaning on the railing. Saleairy blinked at the shining orbs in the sky. Orbs wasn't a good word for them but she'd been taught that they were some legendary goddess' pearl necklace that was broken when she fled her world. The orbs remained to protect her people and give them hope for her return. Orbs stuck in a childish memory that wasn't real.

Carth held her tighter and she wondered if he could read her thoughts. She leaned back into him and shivered. The planet was very cold at night, despite spring quality weather. She wasn't the only one to notice; Carth held her tight at night and they stayed under the covers, bundled together like peas in a pod. Carth made the comparison when he awoke to find her burrowed into his frame, as close as possible without him noticing the entire night. She laughed and Carth squeezed her. He was too strong for his own good and his arm around her ribs made her wince.

"Peas in a pod? Where did you learn that?" Carth laughed and it made his chest rumble. Saleairy blinked at him.

"You've never heard that before?" Carth said with an incredulous air.

"No. It seems like a very archaic reference to me." She said.

"My mother taught it to me. She grew 'archaic' vegetables, peas, wherever we lived so I would grow up healthy," A weighted pause and he squeezed Saleairy. "and strong." She gasped as his grip loosened.

"Are you parents still-"

"Yes. They'll meet us in a few days. Dustil is waiting for us." Carth said.

"I know. We talked about that."

"I know. I'm just excited to see him again." Saleairy wondered how it would feel to have a child. She wondered how Carth felt about the child he fathered, raised, lost and found again. She wondered what parental instincts felt like. She'd only seen passing glimpses of family life and she wondered if Carth missed having a wife. He missed Dustil but Dustil was Carth's. A wife was different. A husband would be different.

"I am too." Her voice was timid and Carth loosened his grip. He felt her breathing against his chest and touched her face.

"Do you know what those four stars are Saleairy?" She looked to where he pointed. It was a strange shape and one star was the obvious point, brighter than the other three. Beside the pointed star was another star that seemed to hover in the shadows of the brightest. The other two were similar and farther away. They made an odd semi circle.

"Is this going to be a corny analogy?" She asked.

"Yes. That's supposed to be the family of stars. The parents." He pointed to the brighter stars. "The eldest child." He gestured to the brighter of the two small stars. "And a child yet to come." He turned her face to the faint star that hovered in the shadow of the appointed eldest child star. His hand touched her stomach and her stomach seemed to slide under his touch.

"Did your mom teach you that?" No teasing in her tone.

"My father did. Once when I was little, so I could teach my children, and once when I was a teenager to pick up chicks." Saleairy broke out laughing.

"Which version did I get?" Carth laughed and they started when Jolee hollered from further along the veranda.

"Hey love birds, keep it down! Some of us need more than pleasant company to have a good day." Saleairy smiled and Carth responded with an air of meekness.

"Sorry Jolee. I'm just trying to woo her."

"Well do us all a favor and keep the wooing to a quiet minimum indoors!" Jolee said as he returned to his room. "And don't flash that innocent 'I respect my elders' look either. I'm a Jedi, remember?" Saleairy laughed in silence, tears running from her eyes as she burrowed into Carth's chest. "And Saleairy, quit distracting the boy with stars. Distract him indoors!" Saleairy laughed as Jolee shut his door. As she chuckled, Carth took her arms and turned her so her back rested on the railing. She stood up taller so the rail wouldn't touch a large bruise on her back and stared at Carth. He pressed against her with an air of gentleness that was previously only expressed when he thought she was hurt. He held her around her waist and they leaned on the railing. His belt buckle poked her stomach as he bent to kiss her. As they kissed, she eased it from his belt and slid it through the railing. He heard the odd clank as it hit the cement lobby below them and sighed. She held his face close to hers and their foreheads touched; Carth had never seen her smile so close before.

"If the Republic spent the cred to have a real belt instead of a clip on buckle, it would've taken more effort on my part." She kissed him and tickled his jaw. "You'd think they'd invest some credits in your well being."

"I really doubt them considering my pants when investing in my well being." He mumbled. She smiled and he saw the fire behind her eyes.

"They should."


	13. Well Rested Savior of the Frigging Galax...

The morning light woke them and Saleairy yawned. Her back was to Carth and her arms were cold. She didn't think she was awake until Carth turned and wrapped his arms around her. Toopleasant for a dream.He'd tucked her in last night, after he admitted they were both exhausted and it was frigid outside. He rested his face on her shoulder and his hand on her stomach made her squirm. She was still ticklish. He chuckled and moved his hand to her sternum.

"Touchy." He kissed her shoulder.

"Good morning pilot man." She said, yawning.

"I've been promoted from fly boy?" He asked.

"That seemed too unoriginal after the first time." She said.

"Do we have to get up?"

"Sooner or later." Loud knocking on their door meant sooner.

"Who is it?" Carth said, yawning as he gripped Saleairy tighter.

"It's me. Jolee helped me make breakfast." Mission said.

"I thought the hotel was cooking?" Saleairy said, her eyes shut.

"Come to the dining room in twenty minutes and you'll see." Mission said. They listened to her retreating footsteps and Carth sighed.

"How do you feel?" Carth asked.

"I'm fine." Saleairy said. Carth gripped her ribs and she gasped.

"Fine indeed." Carth said. A thought struck him. "Did I hurt you when I landed on you?"

"No." She smiled. "And the near suffocation was well worth it."

Carth got up and dressed while Saleairy stayed on the bed, eyes shut. She was tired, fatigued in any way possible, but it went beyond that. She wouldn't take time to analyze it now. Carth left the room and she blinked. She didn't get up and her eyes shut.

Carth entered and slid on top of her. She groaned and reached for his waist. Her fingers wrapped around his belt buckle and she opened her eyes.

"Dammit." She muttered and shut her eyes again. Carth kissed her neck.

"You should get up now beautiful. Our twenty minutes is almost up." She groaned and slid closer to the pillows until her collarbone was even with Carth's shoulders and her waist was well above his. "Is that a hint?" Carth asked.

"I'm trying to get a few minutes of sleep and you're trying to wake me up like a Gizka that wants to be fed." She said. She smiled at him and he narrowed his eyes.

"The Gizka thing is getting a little old." She ran her finger behind his ear and he attempted to keep the pacified look from his face.

"Sure it is." He caught her hand and pinned her other arm down, kissing her. Her hands slid from his grasp and she held his face, rolling until they fell off the bed. She jumped from on top of him and ran to the bathroom, laughing as Carth groaned.

Saleairy brushed her hair and opened the door to the bathroom as Carth knocked. Carth looked sheepish but stood behind her. She set her brush down and he wrapped his arms around her, gripping her waist. She leaned into him.

"You'll have to keep you mind out of the gutter when you're around the Council."

"You're taking me with you?" Carth was shocked.

"That's the scariest place I'll ever be, damn right you're going."

"Won't they condemn you loving another human being?" He held her tighter and rested his head on her shoulder.

"I don't think so. And if they do, I'll play that saving the galaxy card." She kissed his ear. She sat on the counter and looked up at Carth.

"I don't like it when you stare at me, thinking. It makes me wonder if you see a Gizka or not." Carth said.

"Gizka's don't wear annoying belt buckles babe." She slid from the counter and Carth stopped her from leaving, pushing her against the counter with a brazen smile.

"What are you thinking when you just look at me like that?" He kissed her and held her close.

"I'm not really thinking. I just look at you."

"Really?" He asked.

"I'm thinking some things that I would rather not say, including comments about your jacket and pants. And how much I love you." She kissed him and when she released him, they drew a hasty breath. He pressed closer and she kissed him again.

"Guys, come on!" They heard Mission at the room door and Saleairy sighed into Carth, since she had nowhere else to move. Carth peeked at himself in the mirror.

"You really can mess with my hair." He kept her pinned as he restyled his hair. She smiled.

"I can mess with other things too." She kissed him and pressed him close until he was forced to break away, gasping. He stumbled back and she smiled as she ran for the dining room.

"Flirt!" He called after her.

Breakfast was short and Mission had indeed cooked since breakfast was aboard the Ebon Hawk as they prepared to leave. Canderous and Zaalbar loaded luggage while Carth readied the ship. Saleairy sat in the co pilot seat and helped him. Carth caught himself staring a few times and kept preparing the ship systems. He remembered when Saleairy laughed and told him it was okay that he stared. He smiled at Saleairy and got up, standing over her.

"Something wrong, pilot man?" Saleairy asked. She looked up at him with her gray, glinting eyes and he melted.

"No, I'm thinking about letting someone else fly for once." Mission wandered in and pushed Carth on to Saleairy.

"I'll do it." Saleairy was too busy trying to keep Carth from falling on his butt to laugh. She steadied Carth who decided to stay on her lap.

"You're usually so polite too." Carth said.

"I figured you two would end up making out so I just saved you some time." She said, sticking her tongue out. "Jolee, come be co pilot." Jolee walked in a few moments later as they took off and Carth got up. Saleairy got up and stumbled since Carth's weight may or may not have cut some circulation off. They sat in the crew quarters and Saleairy curled onto one of the cots. Carth wrapped a blanket around her and watched her sleep. Saleairy struggled in her sleep and woke with a start as she almost rolled off the cot. Carth sighed as he climbed in beside her.

"I can't trust you to sleep peaceably anywhere we go."

"Yeah. I have trouble sleeping when someone's watching me sleep." She yawned.

"You could tell I was watching you?" Carth asked.

"Yes. And if you'd behave and sleep I'll be a very well rested savior of the frigging galaxy."


	14. Loyalty

Carth stood in the cockpit, watching the scarred surface of Telos grow near. He left Saleairy asleep in the crew quarters. Jolee left and let Carth land the Ebon Hawk. Saleairy appeared and sat in the co pilot seat, pressing a few buttons to help land.

"I'm sorry Carth."

"It wasn't your fault." Carth muttered. He clenched his jaw.

"I know you forgive me to some extent but I'm sorry for your loss and pain too." Saleairy said with her caressing tone. Carth realized that her vocal tones hid the pain she really felt.

"Well it's not your fault dammit. And I know you feel pain for me but you can't tell me you know what it feels like to lose everything. You wouldn't remember. And you know, if you hadn't been the evil Lord of the Sith before all this, you wouldn't give a damn. Even now, the only reason you feel for people is because you obviously have guilt issues. How does it feel to be a great Jedi, the empathizer of all who suffer, and not remember anything before the Endar Spire? How could you possibly know what any of us feel? You don't. You manipulate us into think you feel our pain."

Carth's tone and message was the worst pain anyone ever inflicted upon Saleairy. She was shock still for an instant, so startled by the brutal onslaught she almost stopped breathing. She blinked and left the cockpit.

Saleairy meditated in the crew quarters. She wasn't used to the pain she felt from Carth's scathing voice. She was too used to his teasing, loving tone. She shouldn't expect pleasantries because she didn't deserve them and it would always come back to a past she couldn't remember.

There is no emotion.

There was a lot of anger. Saleairy's bitter thoughts made her sigh and rub her eyes. Pain. Pain was an emotion Jedi felt.

Saleairy shook her head and stopped meditating. It was pointless when she couldn't anchor herself down to some level of calm.

Carth watched her struggle to mediate. She was struggling with being a Jedi. He made her struggle. He wondered if she would've stayed with the crew if he didn't love her. She'd be in some Temple, training pupils so her way of life wouldn't die out. Carth corrected himself. She would be in the Outer Rim, looking for the dark secrets that caused Revan to rip a hole in the galaxy.

Saleairy opened her eyes and saw Carth watching her. Carth clenched his jaw tighter and turned on his heels. She stayed on her knees.

She stumbled to her feet a while later. She walked out into the common area and started. Everyone was gone. She sighed and sat down.

"They all went ahead of you. Not a wise choice on their part." She didn't start at Canderous' voice.

"I suppose not."

"Are you ready to disembark? They won't make it far without you." Canderous offered her his hand. "I know you two are having an argument but you know where I stand."

"Do I?" She asked. He pulled her up.

"You do. It doesn't take a Jedi to figure that out." Canderous said.

"Statement: It appears the Republic meatbag has gone on without you Master. What a disloyal act."

"Droid-" Canderous was cut off by Saleairy.

"I don't need disloyalty when I have loyalty. Let's go."


	15. Righteous Anger

Saleairy made her appearance as the savoir of the galaxy following her personal assassin droid and Canderous, looking aggravated and dispirited. Lucky for them they landed in a private hanger and no one recognized them. They walked to the public transport area and found their companions waiting. Carth's back faced Saleairy and she turned her back to his, facing her companions.

"Where are we going?" Mission asked.

"I suppose we should find someone who is in charge of our actions here." Saleairy said. Carth was dealing with a lot of stuff. His home world was on the verge of death, only spots of life remaining. Saleairy wanted to comfort him but he wouldn't accept her right now.

"Didn't the Council say you should report to them?" Bastila said.

"Yes but I don't know where they are." Saleairy said. Carth remembered how terrified Saleairy had been. Her worst nightmare was what her fellow Jedi would do to her after she saved the galaxy.

"I'm sure we're all looking forward to the Council telling Saleairy where to go and how awful she used to be and all that joy." Canderous said.

"The Council is not a doomsday warning system." Bastila hissed.

"I wouldn't be so sure. They haven't reprimanded you for your ingenious fall to the dark side either."

"Ingenious fall to the dark side?" Bastila said.

"It's called sarcasm princess. You are damn lucky Saleairy didn't kill you." Canderous snarled.

"You are really the one to talk of 'ingenious falls', you murdering Mandalorian hell hound." Bastila spat.

"Oh you're really hurting me lady. At least I had the honor to face my battles and my defeats." Canderous said. Carth looked at Saleairy and saw a despair he never saw in another person. She turned from her companions and took a few steps away.

"Honor? You were defeated because your forces would stop at nothing for honor. What honor is there in killing defenseless civilians?"

"What honor is there in hiding in some Temple?"

"Stop this." Carth forced his way in between them.

"This isn't your battle." Canderous said.

"Yes it is. Stop this." Carth was angry and couldn't handle the situation.

"The last time I checked, you weren't the leader Carth and you certainly aren't a very good at relationships." Bastila said.

"I know when someone is going to start throwing punches and if this doesn't stop, I will." Carth was seething at losing control. He was a Republic war hero; where had his leadership skills gone? Saleairy stood a ways off, looking distant.

"I'm terrified." Canderous growled.

"Saleairy, why aren't you stopping this?" Carth was infuriated now. She was the leader, they were falling apart and she shied away.

"She's watching you play the leader. Working out quite well. They followed you off the ship and then realized Saleairy wasn't there, and then they stopped, whether you led them on or not." Canderous said.

"You are certainly one to talk about being a leader. You sacrificed your troops to gain honor. I'm sure even I could surpass that. One of my troops is never going to come find me and challenge me to a duel." Carth said.

"Guys, why are we fighting?" Mission's voice was high and drew attention to their situation. All their companions realized this needed to stop.

"We're fighting because Carth broke whatever spirit was left in our real leader." Canderous said.

"What?" Bastila said. She no longer cared what insults the Mandalorian had thrown. Her only concern was for the tears standing in Saleairy's eyes.

"Statement: You are giving the inferior meatbag too much credit. He could not wound my Master."

"It's an emotional thing you hunk of metal." Mission said.

"What happened?" Juhani asked. Everyone stared at Carth. He crossed his arms and blinked. They gaze shifted to Saleairy. Saleairy was standing still, her back to them.

"Saleairy?" Bastila touched her shoulder and she shook her off. She turned to look at her companions.

"You solved your own conflict. You don't need me."

"That's good. You don't have anything to give right now, do you?" Carth said. Saleairy faced Carth and blinked.

"No Carth. I don't have anything to give you because you're too much of a dumb ass to take it."

A long, startled moment of silence passed.

"Query: Is that what you meatbags refer to as 'righteous anger'?"

"Righteous would imply she was right to begin with." Carth said. Saleairy stared at Carth.

"I don't know why I'm here listening to you. When you're ready to move on from the mistakes you've made in the past to what you've screwed up in the present, come find me."


	16. Promise

Dustil walked to his father's side as his companions walked away in different directions.

"Dustil, I'm so glad to see you." He hugged Dustil and Dustil sighed.

"I'm glad to see you too, father." Carth blinked at his son.

"How much of that did you hear?" Carth asked.

"All of it. Although the context is lost on me." Dustil said.

"I'm sorry about all of this-"

"Even I can recognize when something needs your attention more than me. Listen, we'll talk at the hotel. Maybe you should go talk to her. I don't know much about her but I can tell you hurt her." Dustil said.

"I didn't mean to." Carth said.

"I'm not the one you should be explaining yourself to." Dustil said. His tone was gentle and reminded Carth of Dustil's mother. He looked at Dustil and saw a strange look in his eyes; it reminded him of when Saleairy mediated and let Carth stay close to her. Calm on the surface and unsettled in all the realms Carth had no perception of. He squeezed Dustil's shoulder and sighed.

"I don't like having to postpone this." Carth said.

"We talked before this. You know how I feel. We have a ways to go but we're some what of a family." Dustil blinked.

"Saleairy-"

"If you want her to be a part of anything involving you, I would suggest going after her." Dustil said.

"Meet me at the hotel, later. Promise?" Carth held Dustil's hands.

"I'm already here father, I'm not going anywhere." Carth kissed his son's forehead and broke into a run.


	17. Manly Protectors

Carth searched with an air of terrified hysteria, getting lost because of his frantic search that covered about a block. He sighed and stopped, knowing he'd passed the very same store at least three times. He sat on the bench near the square of plants inserted into the gray, industrial area and rubbed his temples.

"HK is right, you suck with directions." He started at Saleairy's voice so close. He turned and found her standing near the other side of the planter.

"Where did you come from?" Carth said. He got up and before he got any closer, he stopped himself, wringing his hands.

"I was here for all four of your frantic run bys." Saleairy said.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Carth asked, deflated.

"Don't get defensive." Saleairy said.

"I'm sorry." Carth said.

"Don't just cave and give me an apology. You can't get away with that anymore. I want to know why you said what you did." Saleairy said.

"I was upset. I hate seeing Telos like this." Carth said, collapsing on the bench looking defeated.

"I know. There's something else." Saleairy said. She stood up and stretched, clamping down her impatience as Carth looked at her.

"I don't want you to feel my pain." Carth said.

"Carth, don't be such a dunce." She turned from him to keep herself from kicking him.

"What? Isn't it noble to want you to be happy? I don't like it when you feel pain for me." She turned to him and he realized she was struggling not to inflict physical pain on him.

"I don't feel pain for you, I feel pain _with_ you. That implies that I care about you and by asking me not to feel pain for you, you're asking me not to love you." She muttered something nobility and Carth blinked.

"Did you just say that a Gizka has more nobility than me?" Carth peered at her.

"Yes. And I meant it. You hurt me more than anything I've ever felt because you didn't want me to feel pain. Where is the logic?" Her fist twitched and Carth sighed.

"I have communication issues." Carth said. He got up and paced, feeling too vulnerable sitting.

"You're lucky you don't have more 'communications issues' after upsetting me like that. How would communications be missing a few teeth?" Saleairy breathed.

"I am sorry. I just, didn't want you pain to be on my account." Carth said.

"So you inflicted pain instead? All right, I'm done trying to explain why what you did was dumb. I'm just going to ensure you don't do it again." Saleairy said. She got out a small blaster and Carth blinked. She had to be joking. She wouldn't-

"How cute." Carth said. She set it to stun and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"I'm glad one of us finds the situation amusing for the moment." Saleairy said.

"Saleairy-" Carth kept himself from screaming when she jumped at him. She jumped into him and entwined herself into his frame. Carth opened his eyes and unclenched his jaw when he realized she had been joking. He wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head against his shoulder. She giggled at him sighing in obvious relief.

"Before you forget the absolute terror you just experienced, let me assure you, next time, I will do it." Saleairy said; her voice muffled by Carth's jacket.

"Ah huh." Carth said. He started when he felt the blaster tickle his thigh.

"I could do it this time if you want proof." Saleairy's voice was a low growl.

"I'm fine." Carth's voice cracked and Saleairy laughed.

"So you're going to let me help you through this?" Saleairy asked.

"Yes. I need help." Carth kissed her forehead and she pulled him closer.

"It's probably strange for you to have someone to share your pain with after being alone for so long." Saleairy said.

"Yes, it's nice though. I'm glad you're here with me." Carth kissed her forehead.

"All right, enough with the mushy lovey dovey stuff. We should go to the hotel and figure out what we're doing here." Her kept his arm around her shoulders as they walked towards the hotel.

"Should we pretend to be arguing still?" Carth said.

"Do you want Canderous to go Mandalorian on you? He will." Saleairy said.

"How do you know?" Carth said.

"We had a chat about loyalties." Saleairy said.

"Loyalties? He has loyalties?" Carth asked.

"To me." Saleairy said.

"What did he mean by that?" Carth asked.

"I think he was implying that if I decided to fire you as my manly protector, he'd be a bigger, better stand in." Saleairy said. Carth's mouth hung open.

"Are you, he doesn't think about you like that, oh my God." Carth swallowed and blinked.

"What?" Saleairy asked.

"He said that?" Carth asked.

"He implied it babe." Saleairy said.

"How did he imply it?" Carth asked.

"Body language."

"Body language?" Carth was raving now. "Body language? Does he think that any sane women would want him as her 'manly protector'?"

"Easy there. He offered because it was obvious that if I had my way, you wouldn't be much of a _manly_ protector anymore." Saleairy said. Carth paled.

"He was moving in on you before I was even out of the picture?" Carth said.

"Carth, we were talking about loyalty. Whatever loyalty means to Canderous is beside the point. Loyalty in my standards means that no one can ever replace you." Carth seemed pacified and Saleairy grinned at him.

"What did you mean by that manly protector comment? How could you make me less of a manly protector-" Carth paled again and stopped talking.

"I'm sure HK isn't the only one who would love to see the blaster on stun applied to a choice area babe."


	18. Waiting for Hell

Their luggage had once again been placed in their rooms and Saleairy and Carth walked to theirs. Saleairy went into the bathroom to wash her face and shut the door. Carth stretched and looked around the room. It was close quarters and industrial. It was technically a floating space station floating near the surface of Telos. That was why it was plain and unadorned. Carth had never seen so much gray in his life.

He heard the door to the bathroom shut and sighed. They would have lunch and see where they were supposed to go. Carth hadn't found Dustil yet but Dustil had said he wasn't going anywhere.Dustil promised he would stay.

"Inferior statement: Why are you in my Master's quarters?" Carth noticed HK dropped the 'inferior meatbag' from the end of his statement and wondered if he didn't deserve a direct acknowledgement anymore.

"We're sharing a room." Carth said. HK advanced and stood face to face with Carth.

"Inferior statement: I will stop using any microscopic subtlety with you, Commander Onasi. You don't seem to understand much without my Master's help and she does not need to know how I feel."

"And I do?" Carth asked.

"Inferior statement: Indeed. You cannot take a hint so I will make it very clear to you." The droid gripped Carth's jacket and Carth widened his eyes.

"What did you want to tell me, HK?" Carth asked.

"Threat: If you do not stop causing my Master such intense degrees of distress, I will take that distress from your worthless, meatbag flesh."

"Are you sure your Master would approve of such violence?" Carth asked.

"Condescending explanation: Regardless of what my Master approves of, she would be capable of restoring you to a decent state. I have seen her heal your worthless flesh with ease before and having to do so again would not bother her as much as you are so prone to do."

"That's a matter of opinion." Carth said.

"Condescending query: Is what I said clear, disloyal Republic meatbag?"

"Disloyal?" Carth asked.

"Threat: I asked a simple question meatbag and it would benefit us both if you were to answer."

"I understand." Carth said.

"Inferior statement: Good. I would hate for you to ask my Master for clarification, and you too would likely find the results unpleasant." HK dropped him and walked from the room. Saleairy came back out and hugged Carth.

"Something wrong?" She asked.

"I think I was just issued a threat from your droid."

"Oh, nothing unusual then." Saleairy chuckled and sat on the bed.

"That's the first I've heard of physical threats that seem so sincere." Carth said.

"You just don't take him seriously. Don't worry. I'll talk to him. I think comparing you to a Gizka will be the best way to make him understand." She said.

"What?" Carth asked.

"He's seen Canderous with that pet Gizka, he'll understand it better that way."

"Explain it to me." Carth asked. He stretched out on the bed and she leaned against his chest, hand resting on his thigh.

"Well, Canderous is a strong meatbag who isn't distressed often or to any extreme extent. But if something were to happen to his pet Gizka, he would be very distressed. We're not sure why, but we suspect there is some sort of attachment, maybe the kind of adoration you feel when something is so ugly, you just have to pity it. We're not sure." Carth flattened his eyebrows and pulled her under him, nipping her shoulder.

"I'm not convinced." Carth said.

"I wasn't finished. So even though looking after the Gizka drives Canderous insane on occasion, he still values the squirt very highly. So if the Gizka, a pitiable life form indeed, were to be harmed, Canderous would likely be more angry than distressed and his anger would be aimed at whomever hurt the ugly, ugly Gizka." Carth glared at her.

"Why did the Gizka get uglier and uglier as the story progressed?" Carth asked.

"Well, HK likes the Gizka and it is cute. He doesn't like you and you aren't." Saleairy giggled as Carth tickled her bare skin.

"You think I'm an ugly, ugly Gizka?" Carth asked.

"It will make the point nicely." Saleairy said.

"So I'm either an ugly, ugly Gizka, or a dead Gizka?"

"Ah huh." She smiled at him and he pinned her hands down with his, kissing her.

"Am I squishing you?" Carth asked.

"A little. I was expecting some respite from the Gizka analogy though." Saleairy said. She looked up at Carth and smiled. "Weren't we just in the worst argument we've ever had?"

"Yes." Carth kissed her and she caressed his face.

"Isn't it weird to be making up so quickly?" She asked as Carth kissed her neck.

"You've obviously never been married." Saleairy laughed and her laughter made Carth look down at her.

"So this is normal?" She laughed until tears rolled from her cheeks and Carth sighed.

"Not exactly. If we were a normal couple, we would've made up all the way by now." She guffawed and shook with her laughter.

"You say that like I'm holding you back." Saleairy said.

"It's hard to concentrate with you're laughing so hard you're shaking." Carth said. "Especially when you're laughing at me being a Gizka."

"You have to admit you like the ear thing. You can't lie to me." She stopped laughing and touched his ear.

"If your droid saw this, I would be one crispy, fried Gizka." Carth said.

"How do you know he would use his flamethrower?" Saleairy asked.

"I've seen him in battle. He's a bloody pyro." Carth said. Saleairy rolled on top of Carth.

"There. No worries now. If he comes in, he'll just assume I'm inflicting some sort of terrible torture on you." Carth groaned.

"You are." Carth groaned. She felt his belt buckle poking into his stomach. She unclipped it and looked at it.

"Why didn't you leave this thing off?" Saleairy asked.

"I didn't think it would be a problem." Carth smiled and blushed.

"I suppose you have a point. If that family of stars line didn't work, nothing would." She chuckled and tossed the buckle from the bed.

"And you are the one to talk about annoyances. You wear your lightsabers to bed unless I remind you to take them off. What happens if they switch on?"

"I guess you really would be less of a manly protector." She grinned.

"Don't say that." Carth said.

"Does the idea upset you?" Saleairy said, smiling.

"More than a little. Although it would suit HK just fine. He would love to see you with Canderous as your manly protector. He wouldn't mind if you punished Canderous-"

"Stop, stop, stop. Bad bad images." She buried her face in Carth's jacket and shuddered. After a long moment, she looked into Carth's eyes. "The only punishment that would make HK happy would be Canderous punishing you because you would run away screaming and HK knows it." Carth shuddered as he buried his face in Saleairy.

"Can we stop talking about punishment?" Carth asked. She smiled down at him and pinned his palms under hers.

"I thought you liked being punished?" She kissed him.

"Don't be kinky." He mumbled as he pulled his mouth from hers.

"I won't." She released his palms and stroked his face. She pushed down closer to Carth and he groaned. She chuckled between kissing him and he held her waist close to his.

"Greeting: Master, did I come at a bad time?" The door opening startled them both and Saleairy felt Carth startle upon seeing HK.

"I'm in the middle of something HK-" Saleairy said.

"Statement: Oh, you're punishing Commander Onasi? Finally Master, honestly you waited so long he likely can't remember what he did wrong." Carth chuckled under Saleairy.

"Yes, I'm punishing Commander Onasi. Stop picking the door locks and knock next time." Saleairy sounded like HK really had interrupted a torture session.

"Query: Could I offer my assistance Master?"

"No." They both echoed.

"Disappointed statement: Very well Master. I will lock the door and leave you to your torture." Saleairy chuckled and the motion pleased Carth.

"If this is torture I can't wait for hell." Carth said.


	19. Surprises, Welcomes and Tears

They got up since HK wasn't the only one vying for their attention. Carth sighed and watched Saleairy pull her hair up.

"That was painfully anticlimactic." Carth said.

"Oh behave. We have to see the Council and Dustil today, not necessarily in that order, so we want to refrain from thinking bad thoughts." Saleairy said.

"Bad thoughts? Do you really think those are bad thoughts?" Carth asked, getting up and holding her around the waist as he pulled her against his chest.

"Not necessarily. You know Carth," He kissed her neck as she spoke. "Gizkas are also obsessed with breeding." Carth pulled her closer and threw her onto the bed, a startling throw for Zaalbar much less Carth. He dove after her and she laughed.

"I'm not a Gizka." He tickled her. "I won't stop until you admit it."

"Come on Carth. This isn't funny." He straddled her and continued tickling her.

"I beg to differ, beautiful." She laughed and tried to grab his hands. He pinned her hands with one of his and kept tickling her.

"Carth." She pleaded.

"I'm not going to stop until you say I'm not a Gizka." She tried to buck him off and only succeeded in making him hold her down tighter.

"Come on Carth, let me go." She pleaded with her gray eyes but Carth knew better.

"I know you really enjoy this so I'm not stopping until I get something out of it." Carth said with his traditional, stubborn air.

"Does this 'something' really have to be me admitting that you aren't a Gizka?" Her eyelashes fluttered with a demure grace and Carth faltered.

"I might accept something else." Carth said. Saleairy kissed him and her tongue brushed his lips as she drew away.

"Canderous is a Gizka too, just not as ugly."

Saleairy walked with Carth to the dining area that was small and gray, like everything else there. Dustil was the only one there and he shifted on his feet in obvious discomfort. Saleairy sensed he was shouldering a large burden, a secret perhaps. She felt the force ebbing from him, more so than when he was on Korriban. He didn't feel as angry.

"Hello Dustil." Saleairy's compassionate voice brought tears to Dustil's eyes. She extended her hand but he embraced her. She returned the embrace and shut her eyes. He made her fell like he was her son. She kissed the top of his head and ran her hand through his hair.

"Thank you for bringing him home. He wouldn't be the same without you." Dustil released her after he spokeand smiled.

"I wasn't expecting such a warm welcome." Saleairy said.

_Neither was I. _

Dustil's voice touched her mind and she raised her eyebrow. He was showing the skills of a true Jedi, communicating through the force.

"I'm so happy this is all starting to work out." Carth brushed away tears and held Saleairy and Dustil close. Saleairy saw a lightsaber at Dustil's belt and he brushed his jacket over it.

_Poor Carth. _

She touched Dustil's mind through the force and smiled. That would be a hard conversation. The people Carth loved most were Jedi. Jedi had hard lives and hard paths to follow. Saleairy felt a tear running down her cheek and started when Dustil brushed it away. She closed her eyes and leaned into Carth. This would be heart breaking for Carth, just knowing Dustil was a Jedi. Loving a Jedi was hard and Saleairy sighed. She would face it with Carth since she was a part of their family now.

_He'll survive. He always does. _

Saleairy smiled at Dustil and stroked his face. She already felt an attachment to him. Force or otherwise it was strong. She kissed Carth and hugged him.

"I love you both so much." Saleairy gasped at Carth's grip and he loosened it.

"You don't have to tell us." Dustil said.

"We know." Carth blinked and furrowed his brow.

"I love you too." Saleairy said, brushing the hair from Carth's face.

"Are we interrupting a family moment?" Canderous asked, an eyebrow cocked.

"We're fine. Let's have some lunch and try to sort things out." Carth said.

Saleairy sat in between Carth and Dustil and felt the calm radiating from everyone. Now that she and Carth were straightened out, the group was getting along. Dustil fit into the group by adding a younger voice, less weighted by worries and trials but also with the strange air of Jedi serenity. The serenity was only a slight inkling because he was still training but Saleairy noticed the contrast from the snarling Dustil on Korriban. Dustil looked at her and she knew they would speak of it later. He looked like he needed a Jedi who had faced Sith to talk to.

Carth touched Saleairy's hand and Saleairy took his calloused hand in hers. Her white knuckled grip made Carth grin and he kissed her knuckles. Saleairy looked into his face and felt a stab of pain. This was what the Council didn't want her to have.


	20. The True Fight of a Jedi

Saleairy spent an afternoon sitting on the bed, leaning into Carth, speaking to Dustil. Carth fell asleep and they spoke in whispers.

"He's asleep, we can talk. I saw your lightsaber." Saleairy smiled.

"Yeah, I just, couldn't make what I'd done feel right until I took steps to becoming someone who could really make a difference." Dustil said. His eyes had the same haunted expression as he shook his head as when she met him on Korriban. Her heart went out to him and she reached for his hand. She pressed several crystals into his palm and smiled.

"That's a very adult decision Dustil, most adults wouldn't have made the right choice." Saleairy said.

"It won't matter unless I can go and help people. It's so strange how such evil motivates people. I saw you as the Sith Lord, you conquered the Jedi rules and tossed aside everything for the pursuit of power. And you were eventually overthrown, not by power but by deceit and betrayal. And then you're allowed to live as a completely different person with no memories, just an incredible guilt. You made up for every life you took and you don't even remember inflicting pain. I do remember the pain I caused." He looked to Carth as Carth shifted in his sleep. "I remember that expression he had when I told him to leave. I told him I wished he was dead." Dustil's face broke into the sorrow Saleairy felt deep within him.

"It's going to get better Dustil." Dustil looked at Saleairy.

"I can believe you. You probably caused him a lot of pain too." His words were that of Jedi, not painful or condemning. She nodded and stroked the hair in Carth's forehead.

"I felt the same as you when I found out about Revan. And a worse expression went through his face because he had no ties to me. You are his son, you can never change that but I was just, there. He thought he'd lose me." Saleairy trembled and Dustil looked at the crystals in his hand.

"You helped him tell me, at Korriban. He couldn't have done it without you. He wouldn't have been strong enough to come back and face me. Thank you. These are rare. I shouldn't take them. You'll need them." Dustil said, hand extended with the crystals.

"No, you are too young to take chances with a weak lightsaber." Saleairy closed his fingers over them.

"Saleairy-"

"Don't you 'Saleairy' me. I'll tell him right now if you don't take those and protect everything you hold dear." She smiled and he blinked. "And don't let that look of hopelessness show in your eyes. It's heart breaking when you're so young." She touched his face.

"Thank you. These will probably save my life."Dustil said.

"Your lightsaber and good friends will save your life, those will just spare you some effort. Are you going to talk with the Council members while they're here?"

"Yes. I don't know what they'll say. There is no Jedi Master that would dare take Carth Onasi's ex Sith boy. I don't even know why I have a lightsaber. I don't deserve it."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, that's what the Jedi are there for. You need to be confident in the fact that you are meant to be doing what you're doing because there are too many people willing to question it for you." She peered at him and saw a faint shadow of a smile. Carth's smile and his wife's eyes. She sighed. She wished she'd been there sooner for Dustil. The Sith still lingered, telling him in their hissing, acerbic voices that he was a failure.

"I don't know how you are such an amazing person." Dustil said.

"I'm not amazing, I'm just empathetic. I had a lot of good people around me and I listened. Even Carth has a heart." Saleairy said.

"You influenced them to be better than they naturally are though. They followed you when you offered to make them better people." Dustil said.

"People say Revan was a leader. She led people without considering where she was going and who would pay the price. I lead people where they really want to follow. Dustil, how are you going to tell him?" Saleairy asked.

"I don't know. It feels bad to be here, like he's really got his family back, and then tell him he might not have me much longer." Dustil said.

"The Jedi aren't going to put you in danger Dustil, no matter who becomes your Master. They've lost so much they won't let more die needlessly." Saleairy said.

"What about you? Where will they send you once you're done telling the galaxy your story?" Dustil asked.

"I suppose I'll go off and make a new one to tell. Probably alone." She touched Carth's stubble ridden cheek. "I will come back. I promise that much. I will not fight to keep everything just to lose it." Saleairy said.

"The true fight of a Jedi." Dustil said.

"What?" Saleairy said.

"There is no emotion. No love. But why else would you fight? You fight so you don't lose everything you love just to come back and be denied what you fought for?" Saleairy blinked and covered her face.

"Love is one thing, and being completely and utterly dependant on someone is another. I used to love Carth. I love him still but it's past that. I can't stand the thought of living without him. Or you. You are very much like your father Dustil. Everything I fell in love with in your father is in you. You went through so much so soon your path changed. I would never have seen Carth's child as a Jedi until I saw you at Korriban."

"Korriban? I was pathetic." Dustil said.

"Trials change you. You went through a lot there, didn't you?" She remembered reading Uthar's diary. It seemed so strange that his innermost thoughts written in a datapad would seem so impersonal. He killed a young woman in the prime of her life and he believed he'd done a good thing for the boy that loved her. Now that boy was a man.

"Yes." Dustil said.

"It changed you but not in the way you think. You're stronger because you're letting all the pain go but you're not forgetting about it. I saw you and I could've laughed." Saleairy said.

"Why?" Dustil asked.

"I looked at you and what the Sith do to their followers and they went wrong with you. They try to bring pain, anger anything that is considered dark and bad from within people. You were angry long before you got to the academy but you were also strong. They don't like strong followers. Strong people realize the strength doesn't come from the darkness that festers in those places. You knew whatever strength you had was yours, not the Sith's. They just gave you a way to express strength. The Jedi can too."

"I, never heard any Jedi sound like a real person before." Dustil said.

"I was a real person before I was a Jedi and before everything else I am well aware of darkness and what it takes to redeem yourself. You don't have much to redeem Dustil. Just because you were angry doesn't mean you killed people."

"Thank you." Dustil took her hand and kissed it.

"You knew what I just told you Dustil, you just didn't know how to vocalize it." She kissed his forehead and held him. "I really am proud of you. I know what it felt like in that place. You aren't wrong to feel badly about it."

"Where do your maternal instincts come from? That is no Jedi holding me and telling me everything is going to be all right." Dustil said, choking on tears. Saleairy smiled. That comment was so Carth like she could've sworn he was awake and speaking.

"Jedi are supposed to be empathetic but not many know what you went through. Besides, I'm a Jedi and a part of your family. I don't know what part I am, but I'm here." Saleairy said. Dustil brushed his tears away and smiled.

"We should tell him." Dustil said.

"Yeah, but how?" Their eyes met and identical, mischievous grins spread on their faces. They'd find a way to tell Carth.

Saleairy helped Dustil put the new crystals in and his lightsaber beam was a stunning blue. She smiled at him. A Jedi Guardian. A defender of innocence. A solder of light. Carth would approve no matter how they broke the news.


	21. Past and Present

Carth woke to something crashing to the floor and he opened his eyes. He looked again to ensure he wasn't hallucinating and gasped. Three lightsabers circled the room. One yellow and one blue, Saleairy didn't smile. One deep blue and Dustil was just as grim.

"Sith spawn!" Saleairy's voice was pitch perfect and her snarl terrorized Carth.

"Jedi whore!" Dustil looked like an amateur theatre actor hurling insults at his mother but kept from laughing.

"Hey, what the hell is going on? No sparring inside, you Jedi dramatics." Carth said.

"He knows." Dustil said. He turned his lightsaber off and put his hand on his hip.

"Dammit. It could've been really funny." Saleairy turned her blades off and sighed.

"Yeah, real funny. My son and consort dueling it out Jedi style." Carth said.

"Consort? I am no such thing." She threw her lightsaber at him and the discharged cylinder smacked his stomach.

"Ouch. That things packs a punch even when it's off." Carth tossed it back to her.

"Father, I-" Carth got up and held Dustil to him.

"I know son. It's all right." He swallowed and Saleairy stood a few steps away.

"I just, can't stand by and watch innocent people suffer anymore." Dustil said.

"I said the same thing when I joined the fleet son. I understand." Saleairy blinked and wondered how often they really understood each as they did now.

"Saleairy, thank you. I should go see the Council soon." Dustil said.

"Me too. Carth, you have to come. I'm assuming you heard all our conversations so you know I'm dependent on you." Carth smiled at Saleairy.

"Would it help if I told you I felt the same way?" Carth asked.

"If you two are about to make up, I'll leave." Dustil said, rolling his eyes.

"We already made up." Carth said, winking. Saleairy threw her lightsaber again and it bounced off Carth's thigh. "Watch where you're aiming!"

"You watch what you say. By making up he means I didn't beat him up and we moved on." Saleairy said. Dustil chuckled and shook his head.

"So, we're all going to the Jedi Council together?" Dustil asked.

"Yeah, frightening, isn't it? We should meditate first. The Council is a bit unnerving." Saleairy said.

"Should I stick around for this?" Carth said, yawning.

"Sure. You need to be calm too. Come sit with us." Saleairy said.

"Do I have to sit all criss cross apple sauce style?" Carth asked.

"No. Just shut your eyes and clear your mind." Carth curled around Saleairy and pulled her back so she leaned on his stomach. "Eyes."

"Sorry." Carth closed his eyes. He felt Saleairy take his large, calloused hand in her delicate, small hands and he swallowed as the force ebbed into him from her. It followed from her but only came to him in trickles.

"Relax Carth." Saleairy said.

He kept his eyes closed and listened to their conversation. Their voices were faint and soft. Saleairy's was stronger and Dustil seemed a little hoarse. Something was off about the entire conversation; it felt like they were talking from a long ways away.

"Find some calm feelings. Use them to ease out of anger and hate." Saleairy said. Her voice seemed to float and hover, caressing whoever listened.

"I don't have any calm feelings right now." Dustil's voice was strained as if he could just speak.

"Then use the force. Let your emotions go. You have a very strong connection to the living force. The force that flows in all life is very strong in you. Use it to calm you." Saleairy said.

"That's a little vague." Carth said. His voice seemed to echo and travel through the darkness as he kept his eyes shut.

"Does he-" Dustil began.

"He'll figure it out. You do what you need to. Find some peace before we go to the Council. Show them you can find your own serenity." Saleairy said.

"That's a valued skill anywhere, Jedi or not." Carth said.

"I think I'm ready to go." Dustil said. His voice didn't shake any longer.

"Good. You feel at peace, don't you?" Saleairy asked.

"Yes. You're a very good teacher. I felt you guiding me through this even though you used few words."

"That's a first on being a women of few words." Carth said.

"All right. I suppose we should go back to the real world." Saleairy said.

"Are you going to tell him?" Dustil asked.

"Yeah, kept your eyes shut for a moment." Saleairy said.

"I'll consider myself warned." Dustil said.

Carth opened his eyes as Saleairy kissed him on the mouth.

"I love you." Saleairy's voice echoed in his mind as her lips met his.

Carth felt dizzy.

"How did you, should I even ask?" Carth asked.

"I was talking to you and Dustil through the force. You were speaking but you heard me in your mind." She kissed him again. "They say force sensitivity runs in the families. Or maybe you've just bonded to me." Her lips were caressing his as her voice flowed into his mind.

Carth brought his mouth away from hers, chuckling.

"Bonded through what?" Carth asked.

"The force. Love. Touch." She ran her hand through his hair and smiled at him. Dustil opened his eyes and blinked.

"Did I give you two enough time?" Dustil asked.

"Do you understand Carth?" Saleairy asked.

"I guess so. I don't know if I like the idea of you being in my head." Carth said. Saleairy laughed.

"I guess I won't have to face that dilemma with you unless you start mediating every day." Saleairy said.

"I could talk with you through that bond?" Carth asked.

"If you let me guide you through it. It might get confusing though because you have no perception of what we've said or what we haven't." Saleairy said.

"I didn't think I was capable at all of anything like that." Carth said.

"She's very strong. I've never felt as calm as I do now." Dustil said. Someone knocked at their door and Saleairy leaned against Carth.

"Come in." Saleairy started as the Shifter entered her room. She swallowed and stared.

"Hello Saleairy, Dustil, Commander Onasi." The Shifter had said his name was Daniel.

"What brings you here Daniel?" Saleairy asked. She was tempted to reach for Carth's blaster but her reaching for Carth's waist might be frowned upon in front of his son and a messenger from the Jedi Council.

"Oh, I have a message for you from the Council." Daniel smiled. She assumed this was his real form. Black hair and eyes and the traditional condescending Jedi messenger smirk.

"Oh?" Saleairy said.

"They would like me to escort you and Dustil to their temporary quarters for a brief meeting concerning your next appearance and the celebration for the beginning of new life here. They also wish to speak of your vision and Dustil. I assume you will be bringing Commander Onasi?"

"Yes." Dustil and Saleairy said.

"I'll wait outside." Daniel left still carrying his supercilious smirk and Saleairy sighed.

"Wonderful messenger." Carth said.

"Yeah. Are we ready to go?" Saleairy asked.

"I am. I'll be outside." Dustil said. He shut the door behind him and Saleairy still leaned into Carth.

"You really want me to go with you? After all this-"

"Carth, Dustil and I both need you." Saleairy said. Carth saw the same look in her eyes as he'd seen in his wife's so long ago. This time, he wouldn't turn away.


	22. Lovelorn Handsome Pilot

_Sorry it took so long, I wasn't allowed to update until the fifth for a reason that will remain untold... I didn't do it! Ahhh. And then we installed a new computer, more probelmatic than the last. Sigh. You'll understand why I don't update if said computer bursts into flames... Enjoy. And if you feel the urge to make a suggestion, be my guest._

Saleairy walked beside Carth and he felt the force swirling around her. He looked again and noted she looked normal. She wasn't always so alive with the force, or did he just have more time to notice when he wasn't anxious about her survival? He blinked and she noticed his stare as Daniel and Dustil walked ahead.

Daniel was an attractive Shifter and he irritated Carth. A Jedi who didn't have to age was an arrogant, haughty Jedi. Saleairy smiled at Carth; she knew what he was thinking.

"I love you Carth." He noted the emphasis on the you and smiled, taking her hand in his.

"I know." He wouldn't trust that Shifter though.

They walked to the temporary meeting area set up in the Ithorian complex for the Ithorians working on restoring the surface of Telos. The Council members came in and sat in a casual manner. Saleairy was already tense and clenched the hand Carth didn't hold. It was good they weren't being more mysterious than usual and suspended with a few formalities. Saleairy and Dustil bowed, Carth saluted with a polite stiffness and kept Saleairy's hand in his own.

"Hello Saleairy. It is good to see you again Dustil. It is good you hastened to Telos from Dantooine, we are happy to see you yet alive." Zhar said.

"I am happy to see you alive and well too Masters." Dustil said. Zhar, Vandar and Vrook were the only survivors that had gone back to the Republic. No one was sure if anyone else had survived. Dustil had time to visit Dantooine because they visited Korriban right after Carth learned of Dustil being alive. Not because Carth insisted either, Saleairy knew it was important and went without a second thought.

"What is it you wished to speak to me about, Masters?" Saleairy was still intimidated by their presence because Revan never considered their strength. Saleairy knew better. They fabricated her memories after shattering her past.

"It has come to our attention that you fear us." Vrook said. Carth's hair rose at his scathing tone and noted he made the Sith Masters seem companionable.

"Fear us, you should not. Convinced we are, of you being different than Revan." Vandar said.

"Indeed. We trained you to be strong, not to fear the ones who taught you." Zhar said.

"I didn't think I feared you until I considered what my penance would be for all of this." Saleairy said. There was no point in lying to the Council.

"Penance? You've saved the galaxy for the time being. I think that is enough until you decide to move on to another evil to conquer." She couldn't tell if Vrook was being sarcastic or not.

"But we do have a request for you." Carth swallowed. Here it was. He gripped her hand tighter. He wouldn't let any noble minded, stiff ass Jedi send her to the Outer Rim to die the death of a Jedi; fighting evil, losing and dieing alone.

"Yes?" Saleairy gripped Carth's hand just as tight. Dustil had gone pale as well.

"We would like you to train Dustil, perhaps even accept him as your Padawan learner." Carth, Dustil and Saleairy sighed in relief. Saleairy took a moment to recover, nodding in agreement as she tried to speak.

"Of course, of course I will train him."

"What did you think we were going to ask?" Vrook asked. Saleairy smiled.

"I thought you were going to ask me to wear a dress to the next ceremony." Saleairy said, smiling.

"That wouldn't be a bad idea. It's more of a formal occasion, kind of a dinner party. Something red would match the décor." Vrook said. Once again, Saleairy wondered if he was allowed to be sarcastic. "Go on. You're released. We don't need two trembling Jedi and the Republic Commander body guard hanging around all day."

Outside Saleairy stopped, leaning against a wall and breathing. Carth leaned on the wall beside her and leaned on her shoulder.

"Thank everything that is holy." Carth said. Saleairy held him against her and sighed. She wasn't sure where to go now.

"Let's go back and sleep." Saleairy said, smiling.

"You haven't been sleeping much because of the Council, have you?" Dustil asked. Saleairy nodded and Carth hugged her.

Saleairy took her shoes off, stripping the outer layer of her heavy-duty armor off and flopping to the bed. Carth slid in beside her.

"I thought they would send you out to the Outer Rim." She snuggled closer to Carth.

"That would be my decision. Besides, Dustil needs someone to help him and you would be one lovelorn handsomest pilot in the galaxy."


	23. Every Time is the Charm

No morning light greeting them and Saleairy readjusted Carth as he used her for a full body pillow. She was too short for him to use as a mattress pad and mumbled so as she shifted him and gasped for breath.

"What?" He asked, eyes bleary and a lopsided grin on his face.

"I said you're as convenient as sleeping with a crateful of Gizka." Saleiary said, kissing the bridge of his nose. She got up and stretched, her pajamas stretching up from her midriff. Carth's grin widened and she tossed a pillow at him.

"What are we doing today?" Carth asked.

"Griff is landing in a few hours. We should probably go with Mission so she doesn't start beating him up." Saleairy stripped to her underwear and donned new clothes, buttoning her shirt and sitting down.

"How did you find him?" Saleairy grinned as she finished adjusting her collar.

"We sent Daniel for him. He was on the smugglers moon a few planets over." Saleairy grinned.

"When did you send him out?" Carth asked.

"Sometime yesterday." Saleairy said.

"Fast tracker." Carth pouted.

"That's not the only fast aspect of that Shifter." Saleairy rolled her eyes and Carth laughed. "You should get dressed. Everyone else is up and wandering around."

"We don't really need to play hosts you know." Carth said, getting up and stalking over to her as she sat on an armchair.

"Oh? What else would we do?" She baited. He sat on her knees and kissed her, his whiskers tickling her until she pulled away, laughing.

"Apparently I should use the time to shave." Carth said, smiling.

"Maybe. I should go check on my new student and tell him that his father is a cheery morning person." She kissed him and laughed.

"Now I get to have another Jedi bashing me." Carth said, getting up and tossing his arms up as a sign of surrender. Saleairy followed him and peered into the bathroom as he got ready to shave.

"I'm nice to you. If I read your mind, I don't tell you." She smiled.

"Tell Dustil you're a morning person too." Carth said, starting to shave.

"Should I wait for you? There isn't much to do until breakfast." Saleairy asked, not looking at Carth.

"There's always things to do." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, smearing shaving cream on her. She pulled away and spit some of the foam out, coughing.

"Smooth." She laughed at Carth's flush and brushed her teeth to clear the soapy taste from her mouth. Carth finished shaving and washed his face.

"Could I try that again?" He asked.

"All right." Saleairy said.

"Ahem. There's always something to do." Carth wrapped his arms around her and kissed her, pressing her into the counter as he held her close.

"Second time is the charm." Saleairy mumbled as Carth kissed her neck.

"Don't say that." Carth kissed her and his tongue caressed hers. "Every time is the charm."


	24. Company

Author: Thought I died? Sorry, computer issues and other, computer involved issues. Enjoy!

Saleairy went with Mission to talk with Griff, Dustil at their heels. Dustil seemed calm but Saleairy wondered how calm he could really be when he'd been through so much. She didn't understand how he could be so open and willing to learn. She was thankful for it but still confused.

"Hey Mission." Griff said, rubbing his neck and glancing at Daniel who had obviously kept him at their meeting place.

"I don't even know why they sent for you. You're never going to change. I can predict the first question out of your mouth." Mission said, glaring.

"Then I won't ask it. I'm sorry sis, I just can't help these things." Daniel's supercilious smirk turned to a scornful look and Saleairy sighed.

"Now you can. The Jedi have offered you a job here." Daniel said.

"Yeah sis. You heard him. I'll get a real job here and work my hardest, just for you." Griff said.

"We'll see." Saleairy took the cue and left the siblings to settle things. Daniel followed her out. She turned to speak to him and started, seeing a strange vision. Daniel's face close to hers, a dangerous snarl spread to his lips, his voice hissing close to her ears. She shook the vision off and watched the Shifter.

"Are you aware that Vrook wishes to send you on another mission?" Daniel said, blinking at the Jedi. Daniel was Vrook's personal assistant when he wasn't occupied with more important issues. Vrook rarely accepted that excuse anyway.

"I could've guessed." Saleairy said.

"Aren't you curious as to what it is?" Daniel asked.

"How would you know?" Saleairy asked.

"I am the Council's last and most reliable messenger. I get things done and I know how to get things done." Daniel flickered his eyelashes at Saleairy.

"What is this mission?" Saleairy asked.

"Has it invoked your keen sense of adventure?" Daniel asked.

"Not really." Saleairy said.

"That's because you know you'll have to leave your companions behind. What a shame that would be. A pilot, a would be apprentice, a failing mission to save the galaxy-"

"I was under the impression Jedi weren't supposed to be so pessimistic." Saleairy said.

"The point is that if you accept the mission, you'll be fighting something that matters." Daniel said. "In company that can truly help you." Daniel narrowed his pitch eyes and Saleairy realized he was very close to her.

"What mission are you talking about?" Saleairy asked.

"There are four planets you have seen on once from light years away that hold the key to every aspect of you and the galaxy you can manipulate. It's only a matter of finding them and conquering them. The true danger of the Sith that you discovered as Revan and will remember soon. Then you will beg to go with the company that can aid you." Daniel said, looking down into her eyes. She disliked how he said "beg" and the implication that she would would be begging for more than aid.

"And the company that can aid me?" Saleairy asked.

"I will be the only one allowed to come with you after a certain point." Daniel said.

"Why?"

"To ensure security." Daniel said.

"For me or the galaxy?" Saleairy asked.

"I don't need to watch you." Daniel said, blinking as his inky powers brushed Saleairy. She drew away and turned her back to him.

"Perhaps you should take that to heart then, Shifter."


	25. Sentiments

Author's note: Sorry, it's a bit short, but it seemed like a good stopping point. And I won't torture you with a cliff hanger, the next chapter is right there. I'm such a soft hearted author sometimes...

"What brings you here? I was mediating." Vrook snapped. Daniel may have been his personal assistant but his taciturn personality (making Bastila seem quite amiable) didn't spare the Shifter. Daniel ignored the obvious irritation.

"I wish to speak to you about Revan's mission."

"What about it?" Vrook said.

"I think we should make her go soon." Daniel said.

"Why?"

"She will soon become too involved with Onasi and her would be pupil. It will be harder for her if we wait." Daniel said.

"It will be hard no matter what and there is no making Revan go anyway, even if you are one of her cast aside experiments." Vrook said.

"I thought you were going to refrain from that reference Vrook?" Daniel said, narrowing his eyes.

"And I thought you learned how to address Masters. Do not make me report such disrespect to the Council when you are in such a precarious state in the Order already." Vrook said.

"I tire of your threats. If you have an earnest complaint, you are welcome to make it and see who they would choose." Daniel hissed.

"How would they choose when you are everyone and no one at the same time, Shifter?" Vrook asked.

"Don't bait me or you will find yourself in a very precarious situation." Daniel said.

"Are you threatening me, Shifter?" Vrook asked, standing.

"The Council knows our relationship Vrook, if you do anything resembling aggression I will be reassigned in a heart beat without a reprimand. You are the Master, you are at fault for leading a student astray." Vrook ignited his lightsaber. Daniel drew his own sabers, the blue and red blades buzzing.

"Whether you have fallen or not, you are not worthy of the lightsabers you bear."

"Will you end my life to prove a point, Vrook?" Daniel asked.

"I will." Vrook leapt at Daniel and their blades clashed, their faces inches behind their respective blades.

"Your situation with the Order will be precarious if you harm me." Daniel said, smiling.

"My situation has always been precarious because of students like you."

"I'll inform Revan of your sentiments when we depart."


	26. Mistakes

Author's note: Opps, even shorter than last time. And I lied about cliff hangers. I'm so evil. Hehe. (I"m a little tired, and my coffee is giving out, so laugh with me so I don't feel insane, please?)

Saleairy heard the savage clash of lightsabers from the quarters reserved for Council members and ran. Lightsabers meant Sith. The door hissed open and Saleairy started as Daniel brought a red blade down upon the hilt of Vrook's saber, causing it to explode.

"I am done with you. Here is the lightsaber you so desire." Daniel tossed the red saber to Vrooks' kneeling form and turned to the door, turning the blue blade off.

"What's going on?" Saleairy asked.

"A new mission has been decided for you, Revan." Daniel took a step towards Saleairy.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Saleairy said. Daniel's lightsabers hung at his belt and he stepped closer still.

"How do you plan to stop me? Can you fight the greater good solely because you don't want to leave?"

"I can fight any greater good that wields a Sith lightsaber." Saleairy said.

"It's amusing that you recognized the Sith insignias before a Jedi Master but I am not a Sith regardless."

"Then what are you?" Saleairy asked.

"A mistake that is righting your mistakes, Revan."


	27. Strength to Leave

Daniel drew a new, double bladed blue lightsaber. Saleairy remembered seeing Bastila's double blade the first time and wincing. A Jedi tool or a Sith weapon in the hands of Brejik seemed very wrong.

"You are going on your mission now Revan." Daniel hissed. Saleairy decided she wouldn't speak when battle was eminent.

It was clear Daniel never thought of defeat as his lightsaber clattered across the hallway as he fell to his knees. Saleairy lowered her weapons, calling the double blade to her hand.

"I am beaten. Strike down your cast aside experiment Revan." Daniel said.

"I won't strike down a defenseless Jedi. Maybe you should remember that you are a Jedi rather than a cast aside experiment. I'm no longer Revan but I will answer for her crimes. Are you ready to depart?"

"What?" Daniel asked.

"Are you ready to depart? Will you follow me?" Saleairy asked.

"Yes, Saleairy." Saleairy extended her hand and the Shifter took it.

"You are not a mistake I would want to correct."

Carth was left behind with Saleairy's followers. Carth watched them all leave, one by one. The droids left with Revan. Canderous followed soon after and Carth suspected his mission to unite Mandalorians sprung from a desire to help Revan, if not direct orders. He didn't stop the Mandalorian from leaving because if Saleairy needed Mandalorians, Saleairy could get them without dredging through the mercenary web of hired guns. Jolee and Juhani were acting under the Council's wishes and contacted him on occasion to see if word had been sent from Saleairy. Mission left and didn't say where. Griff didn't hang around long after his sister disappeared. Zaalbar was an odd one. He stayed on Telos, aiding the Ithorians until he could think of another way to help serve his life debt to Saleairy. Bastila stayed for a time but eventually her patented Jedi patience wore thin. She chased after Saleairy. Carth was left alone with Dustil, both wondering how their lives would progress without Saleairy.

Dustil got his answer when Jolee and Juhani asked him to come with them on their Jedi missions. Dustil went and contacted Carth often. Carth knew he too would eventually chase after Saleairy. Carth knew that wasn't what she wanted.

Carth wasn't given much of a purpose. Serving the Republic wasn't the same anymore without Saleairy to believe in. His only purpose was waiting for Saleairy. It was hard. Not a day passed without thoughts of her beautiful face, and what he would do if he ever saw a lifeless version of the Jedi he loved. He would wait.

Saleairy sighed as she wandered the gray planet. The Sith influence turned everything that was once pure gray. She had seen worlds that were black from Sith influence. Her journey was nearly over. It'd been so long she hardly remembered a normal life. Daniel left to fight in a war worlds away. She had been alone for a long time.

Saleairy collapsed at the end of her journey. Memories flooded back of screams, death and pain as she stared at the teachings that had brought a Jedi and a galaxy to their knees. It wasn't written. It wasn't recorded. It was its own presence. She couldn't defeat it alone. She had failed.

Saleairy started awake from what felt like a death coma and felt danger. Before she opened her eyes her hand was up and she'd used force wave. She heard two startled cries, one beast and one human. She opened her eyes and saw a large, lizard like creature fold under its death struggle. She turned and saw a man wearing Jedi robes looking very startled. His face was tan but paled under her gaze.

"Revan?" He asked. She didn't attempt to stand.

"I am Revan no longer." The man blinked and she could feel thoughts buzzing incessantly in his mind.

"Then why are you here?" He asked.

"To destroy what Revan couldn't." She said. She looked again. "You seem familiar."

"I am a Jedi." He said, still on guard. She remembered traces of moments and she swore she knew him.

"What is your name?" She asked.

"Ayden Venoda." He said.

"Ayden. I almost remember you. You knew Revan once, didn't you?" She asked.

"Yes."

"It has left a mark on you, even under the scars of Malachor." Saleairy made it to a sitting position.

"Are you injured Revan?"

"Call me Saleairy." She said.

"Saleairy. That's a beautiful name." He held his tongue from voicing the fact that he would rather hear that name than Revan's. He would rather see Saleairy than Revan because Saleairy's eyes weren't the eyes of a soulless Revan.

"Thank you. Ayden, why did you come here?" She asked.

"To find you." Ayden said.

"Why?" Saleairy said.

"It didn't seem like anyone should face this alone." Ayden said.

"You are right."

"So, you are Revan?" Ayden asked.

"In a manner of speaking. Why?"

"Admiral Carth Onasi wants you to know he'll be waiting for you. He'll wait forever." Ayden said. Ayden was startled when Revan cried. A tear never graced Revan's cheek, even when she heard news of her parents' death at the first Mandalorian strike.

"Ayden, thank you."

"You are welcome. I know it would only help to hear from those you love." Ayden said. His thoughts wandered to Handmaiden and he sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"Sit with me, please Ayden." Ayden did so, staring at the Jedi he'd grown up with. Malak, Revan and Ayden had been close friends even when their paths drew apart. The Jedi Order had a strange way of separating friends, to test them. Test whether a friend would remain a friend after a period of absence. Before the war, Revan and Malak weren't on the best terms. Malak swore he loved Revan and Revan had never felt anything like that towards anyone. Then the war drew them together. Ayden wasn't sure what occurred after that since he was used for his battle talents, dispatched to Malachor and many battles before. Malak had him sent to Malachor because he suspected Revan loved him and scorned Malak because of it. Revan had looked into his eyes after years of absence and blinked.

"You are a leader, Exile." She knew then that he would be exiled for his actions. So many people had called him the Exile, but she had been the first. It had made his skin crawl.

"Do you remember much of me Saleairy?" Ayden asked, swallowing.

"Glimpses. Not much more than I remember of anything else, but I've never remembered a person as much as I remember you."

"There has been a Jedi Civil War. There aren't many of us left, but there are enough to recover, once we solve this threat." Ayden said.

"Do you feel something strange about this place?" Saleairy asked.

"Yes, it feels dead." Ayden said.

"This place isn't dead but the presence that lingers here is nearly dead and death makes it desperate. This threat feeds off of death, the death of the force makes it stronger." Ayden winced.

"Maybe I shouldn't be here."

"Part of healing a wound is finding it Ayden. If you believe you are a wound in the force, you can do the most to heal it." Saleairy said.

"What must we do?" Ayden asked.

"Listen."

Light and dark only coexist when one covers the other, creating a gray that can consume anything. When light covers dark, the wounds of darkness heal but the wounds remain gray. Gray because of the presence of light and dark.

The same was true for Revan and the Exile. They had been dark once and their light covered the wounds they created. The wounds remained gray, consuming much of their pasts, but they were light. Gazing upon them, they are the light side. Knowing them, they are the birth of the new Jedi order, capable of light and dark and the remnants of the battling forces.

Saleairy woke with a groan. She couldn't move. She'd been injured countless times in her journey. The Exile, Ayden, carried her in his arms to the Ebon Hawk. She hadn't seen the ship for ages. She shut her eyes. She could feel where she was being carried. She didn't like it, the sensation made her ill. The gifts of cleansing an impurity of the force were higher perceptions. She wasn't sure if she could handle the unreal perceptions when she would be going back to the real world. She heard voices around her.

"Is that who I think it is?"

"Yes Atton, it was Revan." Ayden said. He sounded wearied.

"Was? Is she dead? Good riddance."

"No. She is Revan no longer. Her name is Saleairy and she is the reason the Sith teachings that held the galaxy by the throat are gone." Ayden said.

"You make it sound like she killed Kreia." Atton said.

"Ayden, where should we go?" A softer voice asked.

"I'm not sure yet. Off this planet. It is good to see you." Ayden said. This was the Handmaiden his thoughts had leaned towards.

"Exile, good to see you alive." Saleairy recognized that voice. Canderous. She opened her eyes and realized they weren't in the medical bay with her. They were somewhere else on the ship. She was connected to the ship, the people, the very force they depended on. She slid from the cot, groaning. She wondered what quest had brought the group together and led them to where they stood. She walked to the main hold, limping like so many times before. She didn't have Carth to use as her crutch. God she missed that man. She missed him like she missed being able to breath without feeling the drawl in her ribs. Carth was essential to living and now that she'd closed her past, he'd opened her future.

"Revan." Canderous was Mandalore now but still carried a fondness for the fallen Jedi. He was at her side, supporting her and holding her close in an embrace that echoed the tenderness of a parent.

"Yes, Revan." Atton didn't look comfortable in her presence.

"She has said she is Revan no longer and there is a difference." Handmaiden said, blinking. "I have seen you battle as Revan and now, you battle things that were once hidden from me. You are different."

"Bah, Jedi mumbo jumbo. I want real proof the dark Lord isn't going to pierce me with her lightsaber." Atton said, narrowing his eyes.

"You're a Jedi, you wouldn't let me run you through any sooner than I would desire to." Saleairy said.

"Where are T3 and HK?"

"They're with everyone else, waiting on that moon near Telos." Atton said, placating by the answer and the gentle look he received.

"I'll set the course." Handmaiden followed Ayden and Canderous carried Saleairy back to the medbay. Atton followed.

"Canderous, how did you end up-"

"Canderous? Is that your name Mandalore?" Atton asked.

"It was. It is like me calling you Revan my dear Jedi, it's a term of endearment and respect for the past." Mandalore swung her to the cot and she smiled.

"Well, um hey, I can help you with your, injuries." Atton said.

"Good, you do that Jedi boy, and I'll make some stims for her once she's ready to move around. And I'm sure I can find something so none of them scar. Republic would appreciate that." Mandalore disappeared and Atton rubbed the back of his neck.

"I don't want this to be weird." Atton said.

"There isn't anything to make it weird Atton. I need your help because I'm tired and I would wander around injured without a second thought. Then Mandalore and Ayden would get rather upset, and Handmaiden would take personal offense-" Saleairy smiled.

"All right, I get the picture. I'm happy to help. After all, you did help Ayden. I'm not sure that he would've made it back without you since he didn't take any of us. Never would guess it but Handmaiden was in pieces the entire time." Atton made conversation as he healed her.

"I could guess that and I wouldn't have made it without him either." She said.

"But you're Revan." Atton was startled by the admittance to the debt.

"I'm Saleairy and a Jedi needs help sometimes. Just like he needed your help." Saleairy said.

"Well, thanks for helping him back." Atton said.

"You're welcome Atton. And I'm sorry if Revan hurt you." She said.

"Well, you're not Revan and I was stupid enough to get involved in the first place." Atton said.

"You aren't the first Jedi to call themselves stupid for following a great leader and a seemingly worthy cause." Saleairy said, smiling.

"Well, I am the first Jedi to heal the great leader after being just smart enough to run." Atton said, smiling at the gray eyed women. Her eyes glinted in the light.

"You are the first of many things and healing me is hardly the pinnacle, Atton."

Saleairy slept until the ship took an ungraceful landing. She opened her eyes and wondered why they felt heavier than anything she'd even lifted (she'd lifted Zaalbar before, only an inch or so but it was still Zaalbar).

"It's okay. Take your time Saleairy." Ayden had a soft, strained voice and leaned on the doorway.

"Where are we?" She asked, propping herself up. She doubted her ability to walk simply because she felt like she'd fall asleep again or at least fall.

"Some moon near Telos. We were ordered by an Admiral to land." Ayden shrugged his shoulders. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah."

Ayden wrapped an arm under her shoulder and helped her walk along to the engine ramp. He was gentle and it was obvious he had once cared for Revan. They'd talked quite a lot about their past. Revan didn't remember anything but felt certain things. Pain she'd caused as Revan surfaced now because Revan was blinded to it. Ayden had commented that hindsight was 20/20. She'd chuckled and yanked on his bangs. He'd said Revan did the same thing.

Ayden helped her down to the ground and she looked up at the amethyst sky as the sun set. The crew, most of which Saleairy didn't know, were scattered around. Atton swallowed.

"Hello Admiral Onasi." Atton rubbed the back of his neck. Saleairy turned to see if what she'd fought for was really waiting for her.

Saleairy uttered no sound as she dove into Carth's arms. Carth buried his face in her neck as she buried her face in his chest. Her arms clung around his neck as he supported her.

"What a heart warming homecoming." Atton said, chuckling. The Admiral was a bit old for Revan but Atton figured it took some experience to keep a former Sith Lord attached.

"She deserves this homecoming Atton." Ayden said.

"You deserve a homecoming too. You brought her back." Atton said, winking at Handmaiden.

"Nothing would've kept her from returning Atton." Ayden said, ushering his group away from the silent pair.

Carth Onasi was complete once more as the Sith Lord Revan clung to him, tears streaming down her face without any strange facial contortions since she didn't care if she cried on his shoulder.

"I waited for you beautiful." Carth wondered how long it looked like he waited. Those years had taken their toll but he felt the force dripping off Saleairy. She hadn't changed much and Carth already felt younger because the folly of his youth and the wisdom of middle age brought his lover back. She met his eyes and he blinked. Her eyes were much lighter. They seemed silver in the fading sunlight and they were definitely older. She'd experienced many things she'd never speak of.

"You'll never wait for me again." She kissed him.

"Are you sure you're done saving the galaxy beautiful?" Carth kissed her and she sighed, looking up at him as her arms hung around his neck.

"It takes strength to save the galaxy and I won't ever have the strength to leave you again, my handsome pilot."

The End

It's done. I'll have more stories with Saleairy but it'll be more like a few glimspes of family life etc with Carth. Snicker. It'll be funnier this time around, now that thegalaxy is okay. What did everyone think? Also, Ihave a short story with Atton and the female Exile, Skills and Fools. Kinda funny...Luvs and thanxfor all the luvs via reviewers.


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